I Don't Love You, I Hate You |BL|

13 ~ Questions of the heart

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It was a photograph of me. There was no way I had seen that incorrectly.

I leaned back in my chair as I sat at the café, sipping my drink and staring at the random people that walked past. Watching people on the side walk made me realize exactly how lonely I felt. I was constantly surrounded by people, but yet I felt isolated. It was depressing. People walked in groups of two and three and here I was, sitting alone like the loner I am. Maybe it was time I caught up with some of my friends.

Then, I heard a woman shriek from behind me. Her voice was so loud that it made me jolt out of my chair. I turned around to take a look at what was going on. My chest tightened at what I saw.

A tall man in blue jeans and a green shirt, on one knee, in front of the overly excited woman. In his hand was a small box. Clearly an engagement ring. I studied the man's face, his eyes were open wide in anticipation while his lips were stretched to his ears in a smile that said 'please say 'yes''.

A proposal! How exiting. I thought in distain. My brows scrunched together. The whole thing left an off taste in my mouth.

My gaze shifted to the short woman in a yellow summer dress that stood before him. Her mouth open wide, tears in her eyes. She nodded her head, once, twice, then repeatedly. She looked lost for words for a moment, then she jumped, nay, she pounced into his arms kissing him.

People gathered around them, applauding with happiness and joy. What was this? some clichéd American Romanic comedy? I watched the people as they congratulated the man. The woman stayed clinging on to him with the shiny engagement ring on her finger. Showing it off like it was the greatest thing in the world.

I looked away. Took a sip of my drink.

Once, a long time ago, I had wanted to propose to the love of my life. Have children with her, maybe even have a dog and live in a nice house just off the city, with a white picket fence.

But no, instead, I was supposedly engaged to Haden. Yet, where was my ring. Where was the love.

I felt jaded.

PDA made my stomach churn.

This was all his fault.

My destiny was for me to be married to an egotistical man, who clearly got pleasure out of taunting me and driving me insane.

I do not get him, not one bit.

Ah....Arranged marriage

How utterly romantic!

I want to stab myself in the eye.

The whole purpose of this arranged marriage was to help my parents. Our entire fortune was dwindling. Our companies were being broken off into small bits and sold off like it had meant nothing. Our legacy was vanishing before my eyes. The only way was to merge. Two legacies tied as one. Couldn't they have just contracted this without dragging me into the middle of it, and leaving me in a loveless marriage?

But no, everyone thought that the best way to save the company, along with its reputation, was to merge it through a marriage so it seemed only natural for one company to get full control of the other. So here I was, doing my duty as the heir.

But, it doesn't explain why Haden had agreed to this mess. Maybe he really was a sadist. It's not like either of us were capable of having children. My mind wondered to the uncharted territory of sex; sex with Haden to be exact. God, it had been amazing. I shook the images of Haden's perfectly naked, well sculpted body, along with images of his dark seductive eyes out of my head. NO,-Shut up Derek. Just stop.