Apologies

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Shinji Pov

Where did Mizuka run off to? He's been gone for ten minutes already! Why did I even mention my journal to him? I'm so stupid I finally had a real friend, and I probably lost my only friend the same day.

I feel strange, and abandoned. So this is how it feels to lose a friend? I don't like the feeling at all. I feel like crying and isolating myself, but I can't do that 'it's weird to show such emotions' as my parents tell me.

That's why I use my precious journal to release all my emotions on to, good thing paper and pens exist, if not, I would be even more negative and probably depressed by now.

I opened my journal that was already placed on my desk:

Why?...did I even try to be normal? If the only person I can be is a false, repulsive monster!...I hate it! I hate that I can't go against my superior's word. Why do I feel like giving up? It's stupid... Why would I want to give up just because I'm fake? I tried to turn my heart into normal flesh... But I can't be helped... this heart will always be made of cold stone...but I don't want to be stone!! Mizuka please! Save me from this hell that I was born in! please... I beg you! Don't leave from my life! I barely know you but I can't stand to lose you!...just... Mizuka...don't leave me....Please!
I feel like crying I don't want to lose you Mizuka...

I wrote my feelings in my journal. I closed my journal and  looked up I saw, Mizuka. He silently sat back down in the desk beside mine, he didn't say anything to me, he stood quiet looking down then he took his glasses off and left them on his desk. Great, he doesn't want to even look at me. Does he hate me that much? I feel horrible now, did I hurt his feelings?

I want to apologize to Mizuka, but, how will he react? I don't know what to say, maybe 'hey Mizuka I'm sorry for creeping you out' No! That whole apology is creepy! I'll just write to him.

I opened my journal to a new page again:

Mizuka...I, I regret showing you my emotions...I never should've opened up to you...but don't worry I won't trouble you again...I am truly sorry Mizuka.

-Shinji

I tapped on Mizuka's shoulder, he turned his head towards me without wearing his glasses. I handed my journal to him, then I lied my head on my desk, I won't bother Mizuka anymore... why do I feel hurt thinking about not bothering Mizuka anymore?

Mizuka POV

I just want to relax and think.

Do I have feelings for Shinji?

This is stupid of course I don't! He's my friend. I took off my glasses I don't want to see nothing right now, I  want to think.

Moments later I feel someone tap on my shoulder, it's Shinji, I look his direction without putting my glasses on, through the blur I can see that he's passing something to me. I take it and place it on my desk, I put my glasses back on. He handed me this journal. It was open to a page with a small letter written on it. I look at Shinji, then back at the journal, I silently begin to read the letter written in Shinji's journal:

Mizuka...I, I regret showing you my emotions...I never should've opened up to you...but don't worry I won't trouble you again...I am truly sorry Mizuka

-Shinji

What? No, I don't want this...Maybe I do have feelings for Him...no!, but why is he saying goodbye?

"Why are you saying goodbye? Why are you assuming that you're troubling me?"

I feel my chest​ tighten, why does he want to leave from my life?


"Why are you apologizing?" I looked at Shinji

"I thought you were angry at me....for writing...such weird things about you" Shinji looked down

"Nonsense, I would never get angry at you, and those 'things' are not weird, so don't think about that, alright?" I smiled at Shinji


"Oh, okay" Shinji smiled softly

"And sorry for running out without telling you" I looked at Shinji's eyes, such a memorizing color.

"I-it's fine, don't worry about it" Shinji looked into my eyes.

And, my curiosity got the best of me. I flipped through Shinji's journal to see if he has any interesting information about him. This journal is quite empty ot only has this...huh?

"H-hey! D-don't read that" Shinji tried to snatch away his journal. But he didn't because I moved when he stood up.

I continued to read...

I gasped when i finished reading

"Don't give up on being normal! I'll help you, that's why I'm here" I gave Shinji a determined look

"So you did read that..."

"Stop being so negative, cheer up" I grasped both of his hands together and nodded with my determined expression.

"My grandmother tells me that as well" he chuckled

"Because your grandmother is telling the truth, you're so negat-"

Shinji looked down

Crap, remember his parents and his lifestyle who wouldn't be negative!?

"Don't worry about what I said, just try to be positive" I nodded, still holding both of his hands together

"I'll try, but no promises" Shinji gave me an insecure look.

Why does he look so...cute? No! No! No! Never no! Stop thinking about that! Miho is wrong! I do not have feelings for Shinji! Not now, not later, never! Never I tell you!

                                  .

Haii Haii...

I know it's been a while since I last updated T^T and I'm very sorry because of that..I feel really bad for not updating for so long...But now with the holidays gone, I may be able to focus more on this story!

I hope so....

Well that's all for now...Baii Baii

-Twilasky

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