Diary of a psychopathe

30th January 2017

Dear diary,
I don't really have much to tell you this time... except maybe the fact that I got sugar high yesterday and stayed up till half four in the morning before finally going to sleep! Not even joking! I was reading a story called 'ever after' by @logipoo it's a really good septiplier story! It drags a little at times but I think the fact that I literally spent five hours straight reading it tells us that it's a damn good book! I don't read crappy stories! I give up on them! Especially if they consistently don't use proper gramma and use the main characters name over and over again!

OOH! I know what to write about! I'm gonna do a list of ten things to make the stories we all write better! (Mine included cause I'm not doing this off of my own personal knowledge! Ima turn to my good old friend the internet! *insert happy Markiplier face here*)

Ok! Here we go! Btw, this isn't just the internet! It's mostly me but guided by thee holy interweb!

1. When writing a story, be it long or short, always open it up with something that will give the reader a glance at what the story will be like. Something really interesting and ... enticing? I think that might be a sexual term actually, never mind! But make sure to write something really catchy!

2. Begin to develop your characters at an early stage. Don't wait until about half way through your story to give a full on description of your characters! It's really infuriating when people do that cause once you get to that point, you've already got a character built up in your head, only to be crushed by the real thing! Ugh. Crush all me hopes and dreams whilst ya at it too why don't ya?!

3. Make the plot as clear as possible without coming off as corny or cheesy! Also, keep some mystery to the story line and leave a good couple of plot twists and cliff hangers! (Just don't forget to bloody update when you do though! 😂) be sure to keep the plot moving at a steady pace too, PLEASE for the love of satin, do not drag on an event! It's so boring! And people WILL lose interest! Like me...

4. Do a lot of reading yourself! That may sound like total crap but I know from experience that the more you read, the better your writing becomes! For me, I recently had to be moved up English sets cause they couldn't justify keeping me in the lower sets! They did a test on me and it turns out I have the mental reading capability of a 21 year old and it's all cause I read so many books! I'm sixteen for satins sake! 😂

5. Choose a point of view and stick with it! Now, I'm not talking about character points of views (piss off! I'm tiered and I can't be assed to use English correctly! Unless that's right ... then never mind), switching between character POVs can often keep things interesting, I'm talking about first person, second person (I've no fucking clue what this actually is 😅) or third person! Don't alternate between them! Also, stick to one tense too! Don't write half a chapter in past tense then suddenly switch to present! It's annoying!

6. Be unique and creative. Allow yourself to get lost in the story you're writing. Don't copy from others either, cause then not only is your story crap, you've gotta deal with the pissed off person you stole the story from! Being unique will also help you stand out from the crowd and get your story noticed!

7. USE PROPER GRAMMA! Unless you're using it in a comical way, USE THE RIGHT PUNCTUATION AND PROPER GRAMMA! Spellings can easily be excused as long as they aren't frequent, however, when it comes to things like not starting a new paragraph when someone new is talking, it's very VERY important! I don't know how many times I have to stress this but it's of the upmost importance that you proof read your work and check it! Jesus! (Ha ha! I say that but I bet my works are full to the brim with shit like that!)

8. Think about your reader. Who are you aiming your story at? Think carefully about that then adapt your ideas around that point, make them fit in with the readers expectations.

9. This One's optional depending on what you're going for, but extended metaphors go a long way. Especially in romantic themed books. They add a certain 'obvious mystery' to the plot which can really kick things into play (notice how most of my advice includes some sort of violence!)

10. Use carefully constructed details about the setting your protagonist is in or what they are feeling. Don't use it constantly, make it seem almost random, shoving it in now and then, pleasantly surprising the reader (not even joking, I only just realised how inappropriate that sounded! See! Proof reading is vital!). For example, in the story I'm writing, one of my characters; 'Cam' suffers from a traumatic past and will sometimes be triggered by random things, sending him into a panic attack. If I was to write something in his perspective (which I haven't cause the whole damn book is in Eric's narration) about a panic attack, I would only go into great detail once. This adds a lot of effect!

I just googled what second person is... it sucks! Don't fucking use it! I will do whatever the hell I like!

I really hope my list helped some people! If it didn't, you know the drill! Fuck you! But whatever!

If it did help with your story, leave a comment telling me the name of your story, and I'll try it out!

K... well... I'm done playing teacher for the day! Ima leave now... bye