This story is in the format of a 16 year old girl's diary as she describes to us her insanely random life. We read about her social skills (non-existant), her boyfriend (also non-existant), her friends (more like common associates) and the random cr...
Dear diary, So ... umm ... yeah. Turns out that I- FUCKING HATE SIRI! PIECE OF POINTLESS SHIT!
Ok ok, I'm calm. I promise. It's just that, when you're trying to revise for a really important history exam, having siri's voice recognition spas out is really really infuriating! More so for me cause I'm also on my fucking period!
Oh! Oh You think I'm over exaggerating?! Well then! Just look at this! All I asked him to do was search google for the fucking Spartacist uprising!!!!
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DAMN YOU SIRI!!!!
Wait, what the hell is that noise. You can't hear it but it sounds like a tampon pack being torn appart... Oh... wait a minuet.
*lowers head to look under bed* (ha ha! Kinky ;))
Oh! For crying out loud Wolfie! You pervert! He's licking one of my tampax wraps! Look!
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Oh? What's that? All that licking has made you ... tired? Well, they do say that sex makes you tiered.... Not that you were ... having sex ... with a tampax wrapper... y'know what? Just forget I said anything! I'm not funny! 😅
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Oh yeah! I've been doing a shit tonne of exams recently. Don't y'all be judging me now but... I actually enjoy them! 😅 I know I know! But the thing is, unlike everybody else, I don't panic, like, at all! I could be sat waiting to go an exam, no revision or anything, and be perfectly calm! I don't know what it is but I don't get nervous! Lucky me huh?
Although, being the dip I am, I did something... really stupid! The rules at Shortdendale are as follows; No notes in the exam No labels on any water bottles Blazers must be taken off All pencil cases are to be clear All phones are to be on SILENT in your BAG!
Ok, umm well, ya see, I was trying to follow the rules, but I apparently only got half way through one of them 😰. I left my phone in the entrance hall where I was sat and Miss FieldHorse found it! Holy crap! It was really embarrassing cause she then held it up in front of a hall full of terrified y9 students asking who's phone it was! I had to claim it! What else could I do?!
But then she called me to the fucking front! *face plants desk* owe! Ow ow ow! Nose bleed! Brb!
*half a roll of toilet paper and a maxi pad later*
Ok, Well... who wants to see my horrible bloody nose?! If you said no, tough! I'm putting in an image!
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This was before I cleaned it btw! 😂 god I'm such a dipshit!
Well, I'm gonna go now, I is bored of talking/writing to you, creepy stalker! Go read about someone else's life for a bit! I've also forgotten my outro so ... oops 😅
