Mistaken.

Chapter Ten: The Fall.

I was sat on the gravel, tears escaping my eyes, hitting my legs, I was freezing, tired and hungry but I didn't really care. "I'm sorry." Jay whispers behind me, his voice trembling, almost like he was crying too. I was in a trance, just staring into thin air, absent-mindedly stroking my scar, trying to comfort myself but feeling no emotion whatsoever. I could hear him babble on, I just couldn't find the energy to speak up, react. I feel his arms wrap around me as he pulls me into his chest, his body heat seems to spread through me, defrosting me from my trance. 

I turned to face Jay with a weak smile, he brushes my hair softly from my eyes, he takes his thumb and gently wipes my tears away, so cold that it sends chills down my spine, I shiver, "Sorry." he says in understanding. His ice-blue eyes now dark blue, looked deep into my eyes almost like he saw past the wall I'd hid my true self behind, past my perfections, my imperfections and just seen me for me, like no one else before me, he leans in slowly until our lips touch, he kisses me carefully, not wanting to scare me, such a tender, gentle kiss, like no other I'd experienced. The fact that I felt something for him, scared me deeply, I didn't want to have the possibility of getting hurt again.

It was a magical, pleasuring moment but all I could picture was him, the one that made me frightened the one that was the reason for my insecurities.  That was the moment, I decided, decided that I couldn't live with this burden of a memory anymore. I pull back, stand up and charge for the end of the cliff, Jay reaches out to stop but he's too late, I'm falling like a cannon ball into the water, I'm not even frightened anymore, all I could think about was becoming free. I hit the water, the tension of the water felt like a slap on bare skin, bringing the pain of the memory back. My nightmare was now piecing itself together, the Owl meant something dark - The memory.