Translucent

Chapter 40: A Broken Man

I stormed into the entrance hall, not even bothering to take my wet hoodie off. The heavy rain and the lights flooding into the streets as the night was family only made my vision more blurrier. Yet Cornelius was nowhere to be seen when I reached my room.

Why would he? After I cussed at him and did everything possible to degrade him?

"Cornelius, where are you?" I panted, still trying somehow. No answer. He might as well never appear anymore.

"Elisabeth?"

His calm voice replied, and I turned around to see him standing in the darkest corner of the room. Frown plastered across his face.

"Cornelius, I'm...I'm..."

"My God." He caressed my wet strains of hair. "Take a shower and dry yourself. You could get sick."

"I'm so, sorry, I understand, i-it's...." I sneezed again. My teeth were clattering.

"Take a shower," he repeated calmly. "Then we'll talk. Meet me in the small library down the hall. I could sense your mother or Diane might be more aware of our conversations in your room."

I argued no more. I lurked outside towards the smaller library as indicated by Cornelius after my shower. This area of the house might be a bit colder because it was rarely visited. I wrapped my sweater tighter around me.

The smaller library was attached to the larger one adjacent to Nathan's study. The smaller library, lacking of function, was meant only as a storage room, keeping unused books, encyclopaedias.

Cornelius waited right behind the library door. His arms folded tight on his chest.

"What made you change your mind?" he lifted his chin up.

"I wasn't thinking about you, I was just thinking of what would be best for me, and I know it wasn't wise..." I rambled.

Cornelius walked over and cupped my face. "No, Elisabeth, I'm sorry. I'm not brave enough to be open myself to you. Things have been swirling in my head. Part of me wanted to go but the other part wanted to stay here, with you."

I shook my head. The image of Cornelius dying flashed in my mind again. "I've been having these misleading thoughts about your death. I never know that you..."

"Died of a silly illness?" Cornelius scoffed. "Good thing Papa only made things better."

"What are you on about? He killed you!"

"No, he only made things better. The poison only quickened my death. It was always better off that way than to have me stain the family name in front of his partners."

"But he was wrong, and you know it. It's not your fault."

"Elisabeth, I was weak and sick." he raised his tone.

The thought that such parents exist–the kind that put their son's life as a choice and worse, sacrificed him–disgusted me to the core. They murdered him.

"I should have been with the other lads." Cornelius continued. "I was meant to die at the front like the others, not instead died a coward, lying on the bloody bed–poisoned–not on the stretcher in the trenches, face covered with mud. I regret that I died the way I did. I failed to make my father and mother proud. I failed to serve my country, to be the good Haywood lad I was destined to be. I was useless, with that stupid illness that kept gnawing me. Papa did the right thing–"

"No, listen–"

"Clearly I was nothing but a failure."

I shuddered at the scoff he let out. "Look, I wasn't there when you...passed." I reached for his face and ran a finger across his cheek. "But one thing I was certain of: your parents didn't deserve you. You were too good for them or for people who spoke ill of you. I don't care what they thought, but you died with honour." I gulped. "Think about the people who loved you genuinely even then, like Norris..."