What I Couldn't Tell Him

23 - Seriously?

JAIMIE PERRON

It is early morning now, and I have passed through a day without sleeping. I am weary now, heavy and weak, but my mind is awake. My mum isn't coming home until tomorrow afternoon which is a small mercy.

Thoughts and questions tumble in my head like a dryer. My own thoughts are so loud I almost think I am imagining the insistent buzz of my phone vibrating on the table next to my bed.

The caller ID is Jenni, with a picture of her sticking her tongue out and hiding behind sunglasses.

"Hello?" I say, my voice is rougher than I thought, showing my tiredness. There is a sniff down the phone.

"Jaimie. I need you to come over." She says, voice shattered by shaky sobs and breaths.

"Jen, what's wrong?" I ask urgently.

"It's my mum. You have to come."

"I am." I hang up, jumping up as fast as my body will let me, injected with a frantic energy.

I dress quickly, grabbing random articles of clothing and am out of the door in less than three minutes.

I slam the car door and wince, hoping I don't wake the whole street, I'm in too much of a hurry for it to matter.

In the car I text her quickly, fingers moving fast and inaccurately.

It doesn't matter. I start the engine and take off down the street. I navigate the village shops and though the suburbs. Jenni lives in a Beverly Hills style mansion. Her mum is young, she was only seventeen. I don't know about her dad. She was never keen to tell us, so I didn't ask.

I am scared of knocking on her door and demanding to see her in the middle of the night. Part of me is worried that it isn't as serious as I fear and I will embarrass myself. I find her street and squint, driving slow. Most of the houses are completely dark, except one that is vomiting white light into the street. I park in front of it and instantly recognise the glass and aluminium box.

I don't even need to knock. Jenni flings the door open before I'm up the drive. Her eyes are dark and eyelids heavy. She is wrapped loosely in a jumper and her hair is matted.

A pair of headlights light up my back and I spin, shielding my eyes. Lucy is behind the wheel of a small car. She jumps out, parking at an angle to the curb.

"Jaimie." She stammered. I break into a jog into her house, disregarding the typical polite way to enter someone's home. Lucy is close behind.

She shuts the door quickly and we follow her wordlessly up the stairs. The stairs are steep and don't make a sound as we ascend.

Once in her room, a plain lilac wash on the walls, she sits down, back to the wall.

"Hey, it's alright." I keep my voice low and sit next to her on the cold floor, rubbing her arm.

Lucy crouches in front of us.

"Go on, Jen." She prompts. I shuffle back and stand with her. She leans on the wall like its a crutch.

"She came home, today." Her voice is filled with venom, "She told us... That she was pregnant."

She pauses and judges our faces. I look at Lucy and her face is grim and tight-lipped.

"She doesn't even know who with! She was out clubbing. Seriously? It was a one night stand and she said it like it was no big f*cking deal!"

I stare at Lucy. She looks furious and Jenni's face reflects a similar expression. I try to keep my face masked in case there is something to this story she hasn't told us.

"What is she going to do with it?" Lucy asks abruptly. She has a burning hate in her face and in the hiss of her voice.

"Abortion." She spits. Lucy nods as though it is exactly what she expected.

We try to comfort her, but this has taken something from her that we can never fill. It is past three in the morning when we walk back down the steps. Lucy pulls her into a quick, firm hug and gets back into the car.

I stop and hold her by the shoulders.

"You're okay. You're going to get through this and when you do you will be a stronger person for it. Okay?"

She smiled a little, nodding. Tears glisten in her eyes but they don't fall. I hug her and pull back, speeding out of the drive and home, for a pitiful three hours sleep.