It's a love-hate thing

Chapter 6

Chapter 6

I sat crying, being cuddled in Brandon’s arms, this was weird. I was reminded of when I used to like him. I was only eleven or twelve, and stupid and I thought he liked me too. If he slept over, I'd sleep in Joshua's room with them, When Joshua fell asleep first(Which he always did, I have never met anyone who slept like that boy) Brandon and I would have these really deep conversations, about anything. We would tell eachother what we were worried about. He knew more about me than anyone, even more than Alex. Sometimes I still felt like he could read me so well, sometimes he would know how I felt, or if something had happened, he'd know I was upset. The first person he'd look at, was me. But then when he was around thirteen, he took a sudden interest in pretty girls. Ones who treated me like a baby. Then I realized he probably saw me like that too.

     I was snapped back to reality. Awkward reality. It felt kind of unfamiliar but still felt comfortable and warm and like a home that I actually belonged in that I never even knew I had. I felt a bare sense of joy and... lo-No! I refused to feel like that! It was weird. Especially after what I’d just heard. Finally he stopped asking me what I’d heard and just let me sulk. I decided to bury the memory deep within my mind, under the surface and to just get over it. I stood up and got out of Brandon’s grip. I sighed uncomfortably and coughed awkwardly

   ‘Thanks’ I whispered. He smiled, not his usually cheeky grin or his sarcastic smirk, but a real, kind of shy smile

   ‘Don’t mention it!’ he looked me straight in the eyes,  his sparkled, a sweet blue. I looked away and nodded

   ‘Gladly’ I muttered, he still heard me and laughed. ‘Not to be rude but um… you can leave now.’ I walked over to my radio, I turned on a different track. ‘Thanks again, I owe you’ I looked him in the eye again.

   ‘You owe me nothing’ he smiled and took my hand, he rubbed my hand with his thumb, lingering, then he reluctantly let go and left me alone. I heard him talking to Joshua. I picked up my old tattered, raggy, limp Teddy bear with the old red unravelling velvet ribbon and hugged it to me as tight as I could, tears dropping to his fluffy head. It was ironic, like this bear symbolised my inner child and I was not ready for this. I opened the window and sat on my bed, wrapping a soft, fluffy blanket around my shoulders, I felt too small and childish. I shouldn’t be crying. . . I still had a few years, right? I tied my hair out of my face and rested my head against my pillow. The tremors were still shaking me violently. I heard my name and Brandon’s being called. I took a deep, shaky breath and slowly opened the door and tip-toed across the hall, Brandon was already at the top of the stairs. I ran past him 

   ‘One minute!’ I yelled, more aggresively than I meant to, and ran into the kitchen. I opened the freezer, trying to cool my warm, flushed face. I took down my hair and shook my head, letting it fall infront of my face, I grabbed some make-up I used eyeliner to hide how puffy and blood shot my eyes were and used blush and concealer to hide how flushed my face still was and lip gloss because... you know... it was right there. I turned and Brandon was looking at me, worriedly. I looked at my reflection in the window and nodded ‘Let’s do this!’ I said and walked along-side him into the living room, dreading hearing this crap again.

                                                      ***

I was sitting in Joshua's room on a beanbag chair, telling him what had happened. I heard my name being called into Amelie’s living room. Had they finally picked up the courage to tell us this big, mysterious news?

   ‘Brandon? Amelie? come down here, please!’ Amelie left her room, her face was relatively dry but she was still flushed. She fanned her face with her hand