PLAIN and PROUD: Book 1 (BxB n LGBT)

Chapter 6: Hot French Fries

Alain's POV

It had been two weeks now since my first and last public confession in school. With Candy’s help I had gathered myself a few more new friends from multiple sexual orientations. Not much T’s in the mix though, what a shame. Still, I’ve met a few L’s, G’s and B’s and – yeah Questioning ones as well – which is cool because nobody can be completely sure in the beginning either. I'm more than glad to help out because I've been through the same sort of things. And all these while I thought I was the only one here in school. Not to forget, they’ve been super nice to me a few days after the involuntary public-coming-out incidence and I began to learn to open up a little, letting these people in my life wasn’t easy but it's all worth it. At least I wasn’t alone anymore and I have to let them know that they're not alone either. Though I still have some socializing and trust issues at times, that's normal right? Especially after middle school and most of high school all spent wrapped in my own lonely world, I grew a bit agitated with all the mixed attention I’m receiving.

I tried to focus only on the special LGBTQ group, who had been looking up at me like I was some of a messiah and hanging out with the Angels made me forget all about the horrible things still being thrown at me by the stupid jerks and persistent homophobes lingering the school hallways. They would do anything to get our spirits down but we will strive further, mark my words! But truthfully, I never thought that I would be pioneering such a powerful group of diverse personalities myself. It’s like the biggest miracle ever! Dreams do come true, after all! Yay for me then.

We met up a few times despite the constant hatred by the others and we collectively decided that what would be a better thing in our plan for a ‘Coming Out’ revolution than to appeal for a GSA club to be established. We already have the Angels fully on-board with it. We’ll never be scared or ashamed as long as we stick together, out and proud. Though as always my cynical self would beg to disagree, and refute the plan altogether. If only it could be that easy, Alain. You can’t simply change people’s minds with a click of a finger. You got to work your ass off. And so we will do that, one baby step at a time.               

I realized that I’m not the same old loner freak anymore. I felt more accepted and blessed. I’m beginning to embrace my inner monsters and tone down the self-tormenting thoughts yet he would always be around. I couldn’t change that deep sense of insecurity in just one night. That would be totally impossible. It had always been a part of me ever since I knew I was a freak, different from the others.

Furthermore, I have Amanda and Audrey. Always by my side. Ma and Dad adored them during the Friday night dinner two weeks ago. Amy, even, was so amazed with the girls that she actually kept her mouth shut and refrained from bashing me with her usual sarcastic comments.

But I shall never, ever change who I really am. I’m still the lame undesirable nerd inside. Only now I am admired by a few teenagers that thought their sexual insecurities might get the worse of them. I still experience the same treatments, in fact worse than before but now there's so much more waiting for me in the near future I could feel it in my bones. I would make sure the community SEE and ACCEPT our existence. It's a HUGE duty but I will start from scratch working my way all the way up, with all the help I could find. I could totally relate to that. I’m changing, in a good way. I can actually trust other people now. Only selected few of them, but still that was quite an improvement.

The best part of it was? Connor had been awesome enough to give me a few calls after that time we met at the detention class to ask me for help with some homework problems. We would usually meet up at my own secret hiding spot at the school’s backyard, under the shady oak tree. It seemed just like old times back when we’re both freshmen in Math class it was so blissful. I assumed that he already knew all about me being gay and he just seemed so cool about it, so I figured I shouldn’t press him with the silly awkward question. I would be fooling myself if I denied the fact that I’m beginning to feel more attraction towards him yet I would tread on that slowly. I didn’t wish to hurt myself even more than I already had, not now when things are starting to get better.