In My Darkness: La Chatte Noire

Chapter Twelve: Mon Amour

Chapter Twelve: Mon Amour

Camillé froze completely. He couldn't have meant... could he? Erik... loved her. Erik loved her! Her heart warmed and fluttered, but suddenly her mind cooled everything with a single statement. So did Uncle. The last time someone she trusted implicitly had told her they loved her in a confession like this, it had turned out very, very badly. For a moment, all she could see was the image of her childhood uncle kneeling before her, telling her that she was the only woman he'd ever want to marry, because no other woman would ever be her equal and he loved her with all his heart. She hadn't even been a woman at the time. A child, compared to women like her mother. That same fright as she had felt then struck her in droves now. She couldn't do this. Her fear of love confessions paralyzed her; silenced everything. She was not ready for this.

Yet... her heart refused to be silent for long. It started as a whisper, telling her that Erik was nothing like her uncle, and this man really loved her. Besides, they were both roughly the same age – perhaps he was a few years older than her, but no more than five – and he hadn't been family before. Her fear was irrational, and she knew that. But for some reason, she was unable to overcome herself. Erik had just turned her world upside down and he didn't even know.

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Erik watched her for a minute and saw that she wasn't going to respond. Her mouth had opened and she was glancing between him, a candelabra, and his organ. It appeared that her gaze was not directed to these things for any particular reason, simply because they were there and not him. For only a minute, did he let himself hope. Then it was crushed under the weight of the logical conclusion that she could not respond because she did not feel the same. He was the subject of unrequited love. How... how could he have been so ignorant? Of course she would not feel the same. Erik was merely her friend, she had said so herself!

But the look he had seen in her eyes when she had told him she loved his song for her... non. That had to have been attraction, nothing more. She was a woman, subject to little fancies that were nothing like the love that he had hoped for. Obviously, that was all she felt for him. His heart nearly cracked into a million pieces when he looked again at her beautiful eyes and saw that they were looking anywhere but at him. Correction... anywhere but at his face. Realization dawned on him in one painful flash. Of course. It was his face. How could a woman as beautiful as Camillé possibly ever love someone with half a face? That damned mutation ruined everything! His mother, the people of the world above, the gypsies, Madame Giry... and now even his beloved Camillé, all of them couldn't stand to look at his face! He was a freak, a disturbance in their perfect worlds.

Camillé did not and never would love him. How could she? He was so far below her, undeserving of even a rogue that had left her home for honestly foolish reasons. Yet he loved her so dearly. She had been everything to him for a month... if not ever since she came to him. His heart simply could not comprehend her not loving him. But it was true. The woman he adored felt nothing for him. It would happen this way... that he would realize that he could never have love in his life. No one could ever love the Living Corpse.

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She stood there, looking anywhere but his face. She couldn't possibly look into those beautiful blue eyes without breaking completely at his hurt expression. It would be hurt, she knew that. Anyone who loved someone who could not respond would be hurt and heartbroken. And then she pictured his pained expression, and felt her heart crack. Camillé could almost hear his forlorn sobs as she stayed there silent. It was torture on herself, not saying anything. She loved him. She knew that she loved him. Why, then, was she standing there like a statue? Suddenly, she managed to move. Back in control, she looked back at the man she loved, only to see him with his head down.