In My Darkness: La Chatte Noire

Chapter Nine: Realization

Chapter Nine: Realization

Camillé held onto Erik for dear life. She didn't know why, but he was comforting to her, and she couldn't face Daniel. She would change her mind, go to England with him, and marry him there. But she couldn't. When she heard him declaring his love for her, she nearly broke. It was almost too much. He sounded so heartbroken, as if his entire world had been stolen from him. Perhaps it had. He was all the way down the stairs before she responded, in a voice weaker than she'd hoped it would be.

"I know."

And she did. She knew that he loved her and that he may always love her. Daniel had always been sentimental. To think that he had waited four months for her, only to have her already in the arms of someone else. Then it hit her – she really was in the arms of someone else. Surprised, she tried to back out of Erik's arms, but he held her by the forearms and looked her in the face.

"Ma chatte, are you alright?" he asked, looking truly concerned.

She nodded. "Je suis bien (I am good), Erik. Can we go home now?"

He smiled gently at her and pulled her into his arms again.

"Yes, Camillé," he muttered into her hair.

She sighed. "Thank you. Thank you so much."

Her companion kissed the top of her head as he whispered, "You're welcome."

Her friend was being awfully friendly today, but she didn't reject his hug, nor did she pull her hand from his as he led her home. The top of her head was still tingling from his kiss. All of her daydream images came to the front of her mind when they reached the lair, and she pulled her hand from his quite suddenly. He turned to look at her, surprised, and she turned around, face burning with embarrassment. This was fine with a regular rogue, this was fine with someone who flirted with her and made their desire for her obvious, but with Erik? No... this couldn't be happening. Just... no.

She could not possibly fall for Erik. That would make everything awkward.

"Camillé, are you sure you're alright?" he asked, placing his hands on her shoulders. Normally, that was a comforting, friendly gesture, but right now, she didn't need that.

She shrugged him off. "I'm... fine. I am just tired and need some sleep. I will see you in the morning. Bon nuit (Good night)!" she called as she ran past him and up to her bedroom.

"Bon nuit, mon ami (Good Night, my friend)," he called back, in a softer voice.

She slid down the wall. Oh, this was going to make everything difficult. Why couldn't she just forget about those daydreams and move on? The answer was simple. Because they wouldn't be forgotten. It was like learning that the world was round as opposed to flat – once you know that the world is round, it just never leaves you, and you always wonder why we once thought it was flat. Camillé was wondering why she hadn't found him attractive before. Obviously, she hadn't been looking hard enough.

For the second time that day, she mentally slapped herself. Where were these thoughts coming from? Erik was her friend; her savior; giving her shelter; being her companion. He was not her beloved. That just didn't happen. Right? Right. Of course, the way he had pulled her close and kissed her head earlier... she shouldn't think about that, it would make this harder than it already was. With a determined nod, she resolved to push her apparent attraction to him to the back of her mind. He was her friend, nothing more. Likely, he would never be more. She swallowed the sudden sadness that overcame her. Nope, still not going to be more than friends. Get a grip, Camillé, she told herself, you're becoming one of those love-sick puppy dogs. Erik does not love us, will not love us, and SHOULD NOT love us. We are staying with him as a friend. End of story. She couldn't help the kicked puppy feeling in her chest. In desperation, she buried her head in her hands. What was happening to her?