Lessons I learnt from life.

Chapter 7: From pain.

Lessons I learnt from pain.

Ah. I love this topic. It gives me immense, immense optimistic feeling and lifts my confidence. Here's why.

You see, pain is temporary. Just like happiness is. And, now you might just roll your eyes after reading this because, that's what everybody says, isn't it?

So, let me tell you why is PAIN Temporary!

Read on to this story.

The day I recieved my first heartbreak. It was not easy for me to not think about giving up on my life. It felt as my life had no meaning. I kept crying. I kept cursing. I soaked my pillows with all my tears.
I scribbled my thoughts in pages of my diary about how desperately I wanted everything to be nothing but just a bad dream. I kept questioning myself, "Was I not enough?" "What was my fault?"

I loved with all my heart and soul,
All my loyalty I poured.
I couldn't for the world believe.
How could someone who meant so much to me
Would give up on me.
Where did I went wrong?
What did I do?
Should I live or should I die?
I just couldn't decide.
I cried everywhere.
In public as well as alone
Locked myself in a toilet and cried again..

Everyday I used to wakeup and go to bed crying about my existence. I hated my breathing as well as my heart beating. Every night I went to bed I used to pray that I don't wake up the next day. Because, there's no point in living.

Then, I gathered myself up. I recollected I should be strong for myself. When that person who has broken my heart can live happily without a cent percent of guilt on what they have done. Then! I shall show them how happy I can be WITHOUT THEM. I will show them I could be more than just happy.

No matter how stressed I felt each day. I started to see good things about existence. I tried to find the purpose as to which god believed He should send me to this earth. I read a scientific fact that whenever you are sad, you should try writing it down. I wrote them in my diary. But, I yearned for a person who could listen out to how I feel. Who'd not just listen but also comfort me with anything. And, then I started reading stuff that would help me gather myself spiritually, mentally and physically.

I treated myself and started loving myself. I participated in several competitions that'd help me be busy in my life. So, that my thoughts don't wander to that person again.

The pain is still there. But a lot more little than it was when it fresh and new.

Once I was given a passage in my English exam. You know those passages we have to read and answer the questions?

Yep. Those ones. Since I'm always in the hype of finishing my paper quickly. I skimmed through the passage and then checked the questions.

The questions were so confusing that I went back to that passage. This time, giving it a full read.

It was about Thomas Alva Edison. The guy who invented light bulb or basically light. As I read along,it was given that,

Thomas Edison's teachers said he was "too stupid to learn anything." He was fired from his first two jobs for being "non-productive." As an inventor, Edison made 1,000 unsuccessful attempts at inventing the light bulb.

Now imagine. Just imagine. If he would have given upon inventing the light bulb in the 10th or the 20th attempt. (Just like we do. We get tired of our failed attempts) Do you think light bulb would have come into existence? No right!

He didn't gave up in not just 10th or 20th. But, also not even in the 1000th attempt of his. I mean CAN YOU IMAGINE?

Just think about us. We give up so easily on things.
That's what I want you to believe as well. Because, that's what I do. Each time I feel like giving up when I'm trying to do something. I recollect this thing. And then, I think maybe I'm very close to getting success and if I give up or if I try once more. I'll get it. That's why I hate giving up. Especially not on myself. I started to love myself like a lot. No. By that I don't mean I don't have any insecurities. I do have. But, the feeling that I need someone to go through all my life. That's not there. I'm independent and so happy. I could do anything I like and I'm actually happy with it.

Okay so back to the pain is temporary. You might still not get how pain is temporary. Let me give you a simple example.

When you get hurt. I mean literally hurt. Let's say you burnt your fingers while you were doing something in the kitchen. Alright?

Just when you get the sensation your fingers got burnt. You yell, cry or whatever. That pain is strong enough that you can feel it. But, there seems to be no sign just when your fingers get burnt isn't it?

But then, the place where it got burnt starts to form a clot. And then after a few days it just disappears. THAT'S WHAT I MEAN BY TEMPORARY.

Of course pain is a pain whatever it is. Whether mentally, physically or spiritually. Anything. But, everything one fine day just goes away. Somehow..  you know.. and the best part is you'll walk over that phase.

Whenever you get stressed about something or feel bad. When you start to miss someone who has broken your heart. Pause for a moment and think. Just think if it's even worth giving a thought on something that's happened in the past? NO RIGHT?  Years from now would that even matter? NO RIGHT? Then why do you have to get all distressed when nothings going matter.

Human mind. I tell you. We keep thinking and overthinking. But, when you are doing that, also remember this what you should do.

You should go to the window of your room. Open it and feel the fresh air. Breath in and out. Breath in from your mouth and let go from your nose. Do that multiple times.

If not. Drink water. Fill the glass with water. And count the sips you take. Simply. To distract your mind.

If not that, then count your breaths. This helps big time. What I mean by that is, take a breath in and one out. That's counted as one. Like that. Easy man.

Life is too short. Just breathe. And Live.

And also by the way I just said "Live" I recollected the way Will Traynor says it to Louisa Clark. If you don't know what I mean then, refer to the book, Me Before You.

In the end he says it to Louisa.

Just live. Clark. Just live.

So you should also make each moment of your existence count.

And also remember this.

YOUR EXISTENCE MATTERS 💙🙌

Until next time.

Take care.

~Em.