Gone Country

Chapter 17 (In A Jam)

I was being held like I had never been held before. Last night, Niona and I stayed up in our pajamas after a delicious meal that Jives and I cooked together. Niona and I had milkshakes, took them into my room and talked about Brant.

It hasn't taken me long at all to really start regretting on yelling at Brant, he didn't deserve it. I couldn't completely blame him from wanting some time away from me, I could be a handful sometimes, now it was worse with the whole liking him thing. My life was spiraling downward once again, it just wasn't fair.

But back to this morning. I couldn't understand why he felt so near, why I felt like he was holding me tight like he normally does. I figured that it was all in my head because I missed him being next to me, only it seemed like reality the more I lied there in bed with my eyes closed. The heaviness of his muscular arm felt like it was weighing down my side. I could practically feel his legs, that normally are intertwined with mine, in their rightful place. His deep inhales and exhales as he peacefully slept were recorded in my mind. It all seemed real.

Then, what seemed like a fantasy became a reality when his voice groaned in my ear, his arm pulled me closer, and his legs tightened around my own. Startled, my eyes flew open to see his brows furrowed and a look of distress on his handsome face. "Brant," I whispered, shaking him awake.

He grimaced at the movement, but thankfully it woke him up. "Char," he sleepily mumbled. "That hurts." His eyes slowly opened, revealing that blue color that I absolutely adored. He suddenly grinned at me, pressing his forehead against mine while breathing out a, "Surprise," across my lips. It definitely was a surprise.

"What are you doing here?!" I loudly asked. "When did you get here?!"

He shushed me, only to kiss my forehead in reward when I calmed down for him to explain. "Relax, Char, I came by around midnight because I couldn't sleep without you. I tried sleeping next to Avery, I even tried cuddling up to a shirt of yours, it just wasn't you. Your dad let me stay over and Niona crashed on the couch, she said that we needed time alone, that you needed to apologize for flipping out on me yesterday."

Leave it to Niona not to be subtle about anything. He brushed back some hair in my eyes, lightly guiding his fingertips past my cheek, down my neck, carefully to my collar bone where my camisole strap rested. "Well..." he murmured, mindlessly drawing on my shoulder. "I'm waiting."

I refused to do it. My heart said that I needed to beg him for forgiveness, but my pride said no. I hated pride sometimes, then there were the times it gave me a boost of confidence that gave me the ability to do things I've never done before.

Instead of asking for his forgiveness, I playfully straddled his waist and seduced my way out of having apologize. His hands naturally went to my hips to hold me into place, but the rest of his actions were a side of Brant Young I've never seen before.

"I was so mad at you," I whispered in his ear. I let my hands rub his chest, hoping that he liked it. When I rested my forehead against his, I was satisfied when I saw him biting his lower lip in interest. "It was like you weren't even going to miss me, right after you told me in so many words that you didn't want to give me up...."

"I didn't want to," he admitted. "I thought you might wanted to spend some time with Niona. You two haven't seen each other in months." With care, he brushed my bangs out of my eyes, that action alone making my cheeks profusely heat to a blush.

Without even considering how it may seem, he played with the hem of my night gown when we resorted to having conversations with our eyes. He was sorry that I had been upset, and I was sorry that I got upset. With everything hitting me full force at once, I just took most of my frustration out in him. "I'm sorry I yelled at you, Brant." I sat up and lowered my eyes to his stomach, not because I was admiring his shirtless torso, but in shame for letting those feelings overrule my reality.

"Don't do this to me, Charlotte," he heaved, covering his face with his hands. "I'm suppose to be able to bask in the fact that for once I'm not the one who lashed out, not feel my heart drop when you pull on that ashamed angel look."

It wasn't a look, I really was ashamed of myself. I told myself that I was going to let him go, nevertheless I'm still hanging tightly onto his arm as if he were mine to keep. "Char," he sighed. He painfully sat up just to cup my face in his strong hands and kiss my forehead in comfort. "It's alright, you didn't rob a bank."

"This is worse than robbing a bank," I softly murmured in guilt when I made myself look into his dark blue eyes. He showed not an ounce of blame toward me, it was like I really was innocence in his eyes. "I'm sorry."

I didn't fairly enjoy getting angry. My pride gets in the way at times, other times my heart is able to override that don't care attitude. There was no doubt that my heart was going to win over pride every time when it came to Brant Young. He was a big part of me, a part that will always make up me.

"Okay, Charlotte," he softly laughed. "I know you're sorry, you don't have to repeat it until you start crying. Let's go make some breakfast, that will take your mind off of things, plus I need to take my meds."

I didn't care what we did, just as long as he was there with me. He forced me out of bed by pulling me over his shoulder. Despite his bruised ribs, the boy did everything possible to make me happy again. I tried repeatedly to talk him into putting me down, he refused time and time again on the way down the hall.

"But, Brant, I'm catching a draft," was one of my excuses. It wasn't a lie, my night gown was shorter than I remembered. There was no doubt that my panties were on full display for anyone who passes in front of Brant.

"Brant Alex Young, cover my little girl's goods!" I heard my father's voice boom right when Brant turned into the kitchen.

"Sorry, Philip," Brant laughed. He tugged the back of my night gown down, hiding my underwear from anyone who dared to cast a glance. "Good morning, everyone. Say good morning, Charlotte."

Brant turned so I could face the audience sitting at my small dining room table. I gave a sheepish smile to my father, Jives, Niona, and Austin, who hadn't really noticed anyone but Niona. "Good morning," I quietly told everyone. Austin never bat an eye, he was too enticed with my best friend to even notice that Brant and I were here.

Niona was so lucky! There was no doubt that Austin was in a hot pursuit after her. He had the dreamy eyes, was smiling, and cut off from the world. I saw Niona stealing a couple peeks his way as well. Austin was a charming, single, gorgeous guy. Niona was single, beautiful, and definitely on his mind. I'm glad someone can have who they want, they were perfect for one another.

Suddenly, I was flipped back to a standing position and facing the guy I loved so dearly. It hurt every time he smiled at me, or even when he held me, but it was the sweetest pain I have ever experienced. It was like I had a cavity and Brant was my favorite candy. I indulge in the sweetness of us being together, but I have that one nagging sharp pain that shoots through me while I enjoy what I love. It was agitating, yet it was all I had to remind myself that he wasn't mine.

"I hope you know that I'm going to have to punish you for your wrong doings," he stated while turning me around to the stove where breakfast was prepared. "Make my breakfast, woman, then meet me out back." I rolled my eyes at how he phrased his demands, but I knew I would fulfill them regardless to how he asked them. "Don't forget my medication."

A kiss to my shoulder blade was all it took to persuade ever more to fulfill his wishes. I prepared a plate for the both of us while his presence slipped away from me. He didn't go outside straight away, but when he was finally out the house, Jives came over and kissed my cheek in greeting. "So my little Charlotte is in love," he whispered. "Whatever happened to marrying me?"

He was talking about when I was little and use to tell him that I would marry him one day because he was the only guy outside of my father and Brant who showed compassion on me. Jives loved me as his own, especially when my father was gone all the time, that's why I felt that way all those years ago.

"I don't think I'll ever get married, Jives," was my hushed reply. "Brant doesn't love me romantically, I don't want anyone else, I just rather be alone than not with him."

Jives rested his chin on top of my head, massaging my shoulders so I could relax. "You need to tell him, that way he'll take your feelings in consideration for the future."

Niona had said the same thing to me. I knew they were right, Jives always is anyway. I just don't have a clue as to how I'm going to tell my best friend that I like him, and I most definitely didn't want to hear his rejection. "We won't be the same afterwards. We'll still be us, just a less closer us. I rather die in pain later than now."

I stepped away from Jives and grabbed two miniature bottles of Sunny D from the fridge on my way out the back door with the food and Brant's medication. Jives could be like an irritating itch sometimes. Always there as a constant reminder that something needs to be done.

I stepped out onto the back lawn, shaking my head when I saw Brant stretched across a picnic blanket that I remembered being in the hall closet. He was laid across of it, but rolled up like a burrito in a throw blanket to knock off the morning chill nipping at his shirtless chest. "Hello, gorgeous," he greeted with a playful smile.

"You're talking to the food, aren't you?" I giggled. He gave a side to side nod, saying that half of it was towards the food, the other half toward me. I took a seat next to him, handing over his sacred breakfast foods and medication.

"What the heck is this?" Brant asked while inspecting the various items on the paper plate.

"Naturally, it's ham and egg breakfast cups, hash browns, ham and cheese quiche, and sausage, egg, and cheese muffins," I explained while pointing to each item.

"Naturally," he scoffed, rolling his eyes afterwards. "I'm sorry, I had a brain fart. How could I possibly forget what these miniature little breakfast pies are called." He picked up a quiche, waving it at me in a taunting way.

"Don't get smart with me, you jerk," I pushed him over. "I didn't cook them, Jives did. Stop being so... so..."

He pulled me down to him, every inch of me stiffening when our lips almost touched. "Shut up, New York," he softly laughed. "You know I love you."

I'll never completely understand this boy. I know everything, yet nothing about him all at once. He knew how to keep things private, when to shut off his easy to read eyes so I couldn't see what he was hiding. I didn't understand how he could intimately brush strands of my blonde hair back and place such a tender kiss on my forehead with it only being meant as a friendly gesture. I've tried doing it, look where it's gotten me.

I care for him like no other. If he's hurt, I'm there hurting beside him. He can't see it, but I would give everything up if he would just love me the way I love him. I would kill for a chance just to kiss him one last time, even if it was without his knowledge like the night before. He would never understand how I felt. The only person who would possibly know what I was feeling was Clay.

Clay.

It was a name I haven't thought of in a while. I now knew how both boys felt in different situations. I faced first hand the back stabbing ways of Clay Holt, now I was seeing how it felt to love someone and not have them love you back. It royally sucked!

"What's with that look?" he quietly asked.

I shook my head and grabbed a quiche from the plate. So he wouldn't question, I forced it into his mouth and sat up to eat a little bit myself. "Hmm.." he hummed. "It's not bad," Brant mumbled.

"Take your medicine," I ordered, handing the pill bottle over. He did as instructed, then decided to cuddle up in my side and make me feed him. Although he wouldn't admit it, he was astonished by the top notch breakfast cuisine Jives had prepared.

"How did he get that egg inside of the ham like that, and how did he get the ham to take form of a miniature bowl? This is just weird."

He poked and prodded the food in amazement. The answer to his question was simple. All Jives done was stick pieces of ham into a muffin pan, poured in a little cheese, and added a raw egg that would cook in the middle. I didn't dare say a word, I left him to be bemused about it.

He liked everything he tasted, even if it was a little more fancy than what he was use to. I'm sure if he just went to visit for one day, he too would like New York. It was noisy, colorful, a little crazy, but still a beautiful place in it's own way. He wouldn't like to stay more than a day or so, but he would still enjoy it.

"Hey, Char?" I looked to him while indulging in another breakfast quiche. "Did you notice Austin and Niona too?"

I giggled at the thought. "Boy did I ever!" He smiled at the thought, probably wondering the same thing I was. How long would it take for those two to get together?

"We should talk to them," he went on. I smiled when he leaned over and stole a bite of my quiche. "I think I wanna double." He wanted to go on a double date with me? My eyes widened in utter disbeilef. "I've been thinking, and I think I should start dating again. It would be less weird for me if I go with Austin around the first time."

It was a nightmare. This time had come too soon, way too soon! Now what was I suppose to do? Why the heck does Jives have to be right?!? I hate that smart, know it all butler of mine. If he's this good, he should've became a freaking shrink!

"Oh," I found myself saying. "I..I guess you're right."

I had to be strong, no matter how much heart wrenching pain I was in. Stupidly, I have chosen this path, now I have to deal with it. "I don't have to, Charlotte, I'll miss sleeping next to you..."

"You should do it," I interrupted with an encouraging smile. "We'll eventually get over it, Brant. We went eleven years without sleeping next to one another, it shouldn't be too hard to convert back."

Who was I to ruin his happiness? I'm sure I could've told him it was a terrible idea and we wouldn't have heard of it for a while. Then again, this might be what I need to give him up. If he was dating, it would be excruciating, but easier if he was happy. I could deal with it as long as he wanted it.

"Are you sure? I'm going to need your help if I do this." He wrapped his arms around me, sneaking in a cheek kiss while I leaned closer to him. "I'm a little rusty on dating."

I stuffed one of each food item on our plate into my mouth to help with the pain that was surely to come. "Whatever you need, I'll help you no matter what," I told him through my full mouth. There was a feeling in the pit of my stomach that said I should've just done what Jives and Niona said. Unfortunately, I'm a hard headed baboon like my father.