Scream with Me

Chapter 14

Chapter 14

Maryanne managed a genuine smile for the first time that day. She hadn’t believed Jensen when he said he was going to cook her one of the best meals of her life for dinner. This was as they ate lunch; some subs and a large bag of clips they split between them. “Ok.” She had said earlier with a shrug of her shoulders. He was already doing so much for her but she didn’t want to argue that fact because she already knew he was stubborn and would only insist on doing more. She thought maybe he was bored and this was his way of passing the time.

“Are you feeling any better?” he asked after lunch.

She nodded. “I know it’ll probably get worse again but no matter what I won’t use. I want to do this for Anna.” She knew she had protested against this idea over and over when he suggested it but now was different, she was ready and believed on some level she could make it through this withdraw.

Jensen reached across the couch and held her hand. “That’s a major step.”

“You’ve been such a major help and I’m forever grateful for it but I don’t get why you’re going though all of this trouble.” She stared into his hazel eyes wishing she could see one thing that could make sense of this whole situation.

He glanced away from their stare and looked somewhere over her head. “I told you already I want to help you through this. I guess I couldn’t help my dad but I could help you.” he weakly confessed, finally giving some of his reasoning away. “I didn’t know you had a daughter when I first offered to help you get clean but now I want more than anything to help you so Annalise doesn’t end up like me with a parent dead.”

Maryanne closed her eyes to the tears burning her eyes. “I’ve never met anyone like you before. I think you care too much.”

“There’s such a thing?” he was trying to lighten the air by teasing her.

“I never would’ve told anyone. My parents…they’d never understand.”

“What about Nate?”

“I don’t want to put this burden on him. He’s too good and sweet to get mixed in with my darkness.” Maryanne couldn’t imagine getting Nate involved in with this mess. She was letting Jensen in because he happened to walk in on her using and because of his past with his father he knew too much to believe her lies. She would’ve much preferred if her secret had stayed her own but on the other hand she didn’t know what she’d do without Jensen holding her hand, both literally and figuratively.

“He cares about you and would want to support you anyway he could.”

“I don’t want him knowing and you can’t tell him either.” She opened her eyes and faced him again.

“Aren’t you worried he’ll find out we’re spending time together and get the wrong idea?”

“He won’t.”

Jensen’s eyebrows arched with skepticism. “I agree Nate is one of the best but no guy is going to sit back and be alright with his girlfriend hanging out with another guy even if it’s his cousin.”

Maryanne knew she needed to find a way to get him off this conversation but also ease his worries that he was betraying his cousin he considered more of a brother. “Let me get through today and then I’ll consider telling him about all of this.” she said the words to give him a peace of mind but she knew deep down she could never tell Nate the truth. She didn’t want to lose him and if he found out how damaged she was he’d never want to be her friend again.  

“Ok, deal.” He squeezed her hand before letting go.

When dinner time finally did roll around Jensen banished her from the kitchen. “It can't be a surprise if you’re looking over my shoulder the whole time.” He had said.

Maryanne was still too out of it to argue, she was rather comfortable on the couch and had no effort to move. Her head was still pounding and from one second to the next she was shaking with cold and then heat but at least she hadn’t hurled up her sub from lunch. She thought of Annalise as she sat there with nothing to distract her.

In the next hour her parents would be expecting her from school, she was going to have to call them and come up with some lie. She also thought about not calling them which would be the easier choice. She knew they’d be furious but would take care of Annalise until she returned.

Maryanne hoped her daughter wouldn’t be too upset. The little girl was excited and bouncing off the walls when they spent time together, she’d know Maryanne wasn’t there. She began to cry and wish there was someway she could get Anna over here but that wouldn’t be fair to the little girl to see her mother like this. It wouldn’t be fair to Jensen either to add to the burden he was already taking on by staying with her and offering up his father’s cabin.

She laid back and tried to will herself to sleep. It’d be better to pass the time asleep than worrying about everything she couldn’t change, yet. Come tomorrow she’d reclaim her life and get Anna back in her arms.

And after some maddening thoughts that’s what happened; she fell asleep. When she woke it was to Jensen shaking her shoulder and the wonderful aroma of whatever he cooked up.

“Prepare to be wowed.” Jensen said with a big smile as he helped her off the sofa. “It’ll be good for you to move around some.”

With a smile like the one he was giving her she didn’t have the heart to say no even though her head was spinning and she wasn’t all that sure she could keep a bite down but whatever he cooked smelled like heaven. “I didn’t know you were such a chef.” She commented as she sat into the chair he motioned to. The round table with two chairs was set with white plates and glasses of soda.

“It’s something I don’t like to share. People already think I’m a crazy weirdo, I don’t want them to think I’m a freak and some weird sissy master chef too.”

“Anyone who thinks you’re a sissy is an idiot; you have too much self confidence for that. Plus you’re tall and with muscles you can just deck them with.” she said with a shrug and when she glanced at where he stood at the stove she knew she had said too much.

His smile turned goofy and she knew her foot was already too deep down her throat. “You’re killing me with all these compliments.” Jensen said. “I think I might cry.”

“Oh shut up.” even feeling like death she couldn’t help it and laughed at the silly expression on his cute face.

“So we’ve established you don’t think I’m a sissy but what about a freak?” he was trying to still sounded lighthearted but his tone took on a serious edge he couldn’t mask.

“What does it matter what I think? We both know I have no right to throw any stones.” Maryanne said bitterly, she after all was the drug addict between them.

“Curious minds want to know plus I’ll hold the food hostage until you answer me.”

Maryanne gave him her full attention and looked at him still standing near the stove. “I don’t think you’re a freak.” She confessed softly. “I think you’re amazing and anyone in their right mind would be lucky to have you.” she thought it was too bad she wasn’t in her right mind.

He smiled brightly again, turning away before she could see anything else of his expression.  “Thanks and now we can eat.”