Broken

I wish

I wish you'd tell

Me whether you care

Or not

Flirty

Or friendly

Now that think about it

You probably don't

Give a crap

About my problems

But it was cute

What you did yesterday

Making my heart flutter

Making me throw my head back

In laughter

And the day before that

I had know idea how strong

You really were

Physically

You said 'sorry' so many times

Thank you for that

You have no idea that I'm

Writing about you right now

Do you?

When you're sitting

Just yards away

Knowing that I didn't eat lunch

Today

Or, a month ago

For a week

You don't know that I'm thinking things about you

How playful you've suddenly been

Making me smile

Making me like you

But I can't do that

I've been hurt too much

But I want to

I want to call you over

And make you look at my left wrist

To ask you what you see

"Scars," you'll say

You'll look me in the eyes and

Wrap me in your arms

Tell me it's going to be okay

But that'll never happen

It's just my way of imagination

I've read too many fanfics

Where the guy is sweet

And compassionate

And helps the girl through her shit

Or saves her when she tries to commit suicide

You're fourteen

Will you care

Maybe

But probably not

I always wish I had a guy

Like Harry or Zayn

Or any of the other boys

So loving

Maybe you do notice that I'm depressed

That I'm quiet

Sad

Isolated

And that when I'm happy

And you're with me

I'm laughing and playful

Smiling

Without Alyssa

I'm quite sad

Without you

I guess I'm sad too

Do you notice my frown

My sad eyes

My tired body

Do you notice my smile

My loud laugh

My playful spirit

Hoping you take a glance at me

Smile at me

Say my name

Look my in the eyes...