Rammstein In Disneyland (with the cast of fangirls from Gemmus).
(Scene: the Happiest Place On Earth. The Rammies are roaming around Fantasyland. Till is keeping an eye out for the nearest bar. Doom is reading from a brochure.)
Doom: Do you know there are more than 2 million prank calls to Disneyland within a typical year-?
Till: That's fucking fascinating, Doom...
Doom: 'The most frequently called individual is Mickey Maus'. *Giggle*
Flake: Well, who else are they going to call here? Pope Benedict?
Doom: -And 26 million handtowels are distributed in Disneyland's rest rooms in any given year...
Olli: Jager. I want Jager now.
Paul: OMG! There's Mr. Toad's Wild Ride!
Till: *Snicker* Forget it, Paul, you have to be at least 36 inches tall for that ride.
Richard (Carrying a stuffed Roger Rabbit slightly larger than Paul, a Buzz Lightyear Astro Blaster, a scale model of Sleeping Beauty's Castle, 24 t-shirts, eating a cotton candy and trying to smoke at the same time): After this, let's go to Tomorrowland, then Critter Country...oh! And we have to go to the Indiana Jones Adventure thingy!
Flake: You know I never noticed the six of us could be so easily split into two categories: those who love Disneyland... (gesturing to Paul, Doom, and Richard)...
Till: -And those who would rather have a kilometer of Stacheldraht yanked through our Harnkanals than endure this Dante's Inferno of capitalist excess and obligatory cheer without massive quantities of alcohol and/or hallucinogens-where's the verdammt arscheficking bar!?!?!
Olli: Ja, if this were really 'The Happiest Place On Earth', you'd think there'd be a vending machine with beer every three meters.
Till: Ja, and where's 'Pussyland'? False advertising, I say!
Flake: Ah, Kerls-? Has anyone else noticed that the cast of Alice In Wonderland, Tigger, Jessica Rabbit, Goofy, Cruella DeVil, and the big fat character from The Little Mermaid who looks like Divine have been following us for the last couple of hours-? No, don't look...
Olli: Ja, I noticed, but I didn't want to make eye contact.
Till: What-? Where-?
(Doom, Paul, and Richard turn around.)
Richard: Oh mein gott! Cruella!
Doom: Jessica Rabbit!
Paul: Tiiiiggeerr!!!!
(They trample Till to embrace the characters.)
Paul (Hugging Tigger): Bouncybouncybouncybouncy Funfunfunfunfun!
Doom (Pointing to Cruella): Till! Look! She has a coat just like your old cow -coat!
Till (Dusting himself off): That's fucking great, Doom...
Richard (Shyly, to Jessica Rabbit): You know, I never though I could be attracted to a cartoon character, but...
(Suddenly, The White Rabbit and The Cheshire Cat run up to Till and pounce.)
W.R. (Alias WilderWein): Oh, my fur and whiskers! TIIIIIIILLLL!!!
C.C. (Alias Elfriniel): At laaaast!!!
Till (Wondering why the White Rabbit has a Finnish accent and the Cheshire Cat has a Bristol accent): Uhhh...have we met...?
(Tweedledum & Tweedledee are embracing Richard.)
Tweedledum (Alias Cassandra): -Would you like to join us-
Tweedledee (Alias Rammstein's Sonne): -On Space Mountain?
Richard (Bouncing with glee): Oh, ja! Ja!
Paul (Still embracing Tigger, alias Skeleton Crew): No, first Pirates Of The Caribbean! Cruella says she knows Jack Sparrow personally!
Cruella (Alias Nimbo): Erm...oh, yes, Jack and I are like that (crosses pointy-nailed fingers).
Jessica Rabbit (Alias Ceci Rosenrot, slithering up to Richard): Soooo, have you been to the Haunted Mansion, yet...?
Tweedledum: *Ahem* I believe we-
Tweedledee: -Asked first!
Caterpillar (Alias Opticon, offering T&T a hit off her hookah): Ladies, ladies-mellow out....
Queen Of Hearts (Alias Ventrue, grabbing Richard's hand and pulling him towards ): Yes, there's plenty of Richard to go around!
Richard: Heeeey...you're not calling me fat, are you-?
Tweedledum: Oh, no! You're just-
Tweedledee: -Fluffy!
Richard: Oh. Well, that's okay. Fluffy is good.
(All but Olli, Flake, Till, White Rabbit, Cheshire Cat, Goofy and Ursula skip off towards Space Mountain, singing 'It's A Small World After All'-in German.)
Olli: -I believe our comrades have-
Flake: -Gone to the Dark Side.
Goofy (Alias Chiq, removing head): Gah! That's stuffy!
Ursula (Alias Moi): Yeah, well try wearing this razza-frackin' 'Keine Lust' outfit! (To Till) So, did I hear someone say something about visiting a bar...?
Till: Oh, gott, yes! Now more than ever!
Ursula: Follow me-New Orleans Square has plenty!
(They join arms and head towards New Orleans Square.)
Flake: 'Wir sollen aus den Zauberer sehen...' *
Olli: -That's not Disney, Flake...
Till: Ja, that's what, Willy Wonka? Anyway, better still: 'We're all living in Amerika...'
All: 'Amerika, it's wunderbar'...
(They march off, Till pausing to drop-kick an unfortunate Disneyland employee in the Mickey Maus suit into the Finding Nemo Submarine Voyage lagoon.)
*: 'We're off to see the wizard'.
YOU ARE READING
What would Rammstein say?
Fanfictionjust a random funny stuff where the writer imagined a lot of funny scenes played by our belovers All rights are for the owner "tillsdoppelganger"
