PT.1

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WWRS #1: Richard Talks To His Mutti About 'Pussy'

(Richard nervously dials his mother's number.)

Richard (Taking a deep breath) *Clik* ...Hello, Mutti-?
Mutti: Hello, Schnuckiputzi*1 ! How are you?
R: Ehh...I'm well. Soooo...did you see the...?
Mutti: The...? Oh, yes! You were adorable!
R: I was...what?!?
Mutti: Oh, yes! You really looked like you were enjoying yourself! You're such a good actor!
R: Ummm...thanks...?
Mutti: And your little friend was so cute! What is her name-?
R: Um...Jazmyne...
Mutti: We must have her over for dinner sometime!
R: *Eep*
Mutti: Oh, and Schnuckiputzi-do you know where she got that brassiere?
R: *Gulp*...Ah, I can find out...
Mutti: -Because Papa's birthday is coming up, and I'd like to- (giggle)- suprise him!
R: Uhhhhh...*CLUNK*
Mutti: Schnuckiputzi-? Are you there-? Schnuckiputzi...?

(Later that same day: we see the other Rammies crouched beside Richard's bed, under which Richard has been curled in a fetal position for the last three hours.)
Till: I really think you're overreacting, Reesh. Did I ever tell you what my Mutti wanted for Christmas after she saw 'Buck Dich'-?
R (Clapping hands over ears): AHHHHH!!! Lalalalalalala....
Flake: That's nothing compared to what my sister wanted for her birthday after she saw it...
(Laughter, except for Richard, who is feeling an aneurysm coming on.)
Paul: My Dad wanted a pair of the shorts I wore-he said something about Mama 'saluting the flag'!
(Laughter, except for Richard, who is openly weeping.)
Doom: I'd better not mention my Oma asking about getting the 'special box set', huh-?
Olli: -Or my Opa asking if I knew any carpenters who know how to make a St. Andrew's cross-?
*FWUMP*
Paul: Oh, scheiss...his head exploded.
Till: That's a great effect-think we could get him to do that onstage every night-?


*1: 'Sweetie pie'.

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