Am I tough? Am I strong? Am I hard-core? Absolutely. Did I whimper with pathetic delight when I sank my teeth into my hot fried-chicken sandwich? You betcha."
Fang grins, "You looove me. (holds out arms) You love me this much."
Angel?" I said. "Baby penguins eat a regurgitated mixture of partially digest fish, krill, and an oily substance from their father's stomachs. Are you willing to eat a bunch of raw fish and krill, then barf it back up into a baby penguin's cute cheeping mouth? Like, every hour?
"Oh. My. God," Total breathed, stopping dead. He stared up at her as if her were a starving man and she was a Snickers bar. He shook his head. "I know it's daylight, because the sun has started to shine again!" He inhaled deeply. "And the air--the air is suddenly perfumed with--"
"Jet fuel, hot tar, dirty bird kids, and a malamute," I said nudging him forward with my foot.
"No," my mom replied, trying to keep a straight face. "She's cooking." Quick, alarmed glances were exchanged among the flock. "Cooking...food?" Nudge asked. I heard someone murmer something about ordering a pizza.
I'm brilliant! I'm a genus! I could blow up the whole world!"
I raised my eyebrows
"Not that I want to of course" Gazzy said and gave a little cough.
I take it you don't want me to call your parents." -Dr.Martinez
"Umm, No." -Max. Hello, Lab? May I speak to a test tube please?
Angel: "He could totally be your boyfriend. You guys could get married. I could be like a junior bridesmaid. Total could be your flower dog."
Max: I'm only a kid! I can't get married!
Angel: You could in New Hampshire.
Max: Forget it! No one's getting married! Not in New Hampshire or anywhere else! Not in a box, not with a fox! Now go to sleep, before I kill you!
The Director: "You were designed to be very smart, Max, We electrically stimulated your synaptic nerve endings while your brain was developing."
Max: "And yet I still can't program my DVD player."
"I love Nudge, Nudge is a great kid, but that motor mouth of hers could have turned Mother Teresa into an ax murderer
Fang pondered. It amazes me how he's sometimes able to seem so calm at the worst times. Sometimes he seems like a droid-or a drone. Fang of Nine. Fang2-D2
Ter Borcht:"Vhy do You let a girl be de leader?"
Fang: "She's the tough one."
Max: Dang right
ter Borcht: "Is dere anysing special about you? Anysing vorth saving?"
Fang: "Besides my fashion sense? I play a mean harmonica."
"You are a fridge with wings; we are freaking ballet dancers" -Fang
Max: "Did you know it wasn't me, the other Max?"
Fang: "Yeah."
Max: "When?"
Fang: "Right away."
Max: "How? We look identical. She even had identical scars and scratches. She was wearing my clothes. How could you tell us apart?
Fang: "She offered to cook breakfast.
Total you're black!" -Iggy
"I prefer Canine American." -Total
Ter Borcht"I assume you alvys hold onto someone's shirt, yes? Following dem closely?
Iggy: Only when I'm trying to steal their dessert.
Max:Write that down, he's a notorious dessert stealer
ter Borcht: "Does anysing on you vork properly?"
Iggy: "Well, I have a highly developed sense of irony."
ter Borcht: "Do you haf any qualities dat distinguish you in any way?"
Nudge: "You mean, like, besides the wings?"
ter Borcht: "Yes. Besides de vings."
Nudge: "Hmm. Besides de vings. Um... I once ate nine Snickers bars in one sitting. Without barfing. That was a record!"
ter Borcht: "Hardly a special talent."
Nudge: "Yeah? Let's see you do it."
Gazzy: "I vill now destroy de Snickuhs bahs!"
"I look like prep school Barbie. *looks at Max* Actually, you look like prep school Barbie. I'm just Barbie's friend.
Then it hit me amid all the flashing lights and alarms and the banging sounds that were getting lounder: a realization that made my blood run cold and my hand freeze into a claw on the single joystick that opened the sub. I was locked in a smalll airtight container with the gasman. I'm not huge with religion but right then I started praying to every deity I'd ever heard of. Please do not letgazzy have one of his episodes in here. Please
Max: "Fang! This is a huge break! Of course we should go check it out!"
Fang: "But we're grounded."
Max and Fang: (stare at each other for a second and burst out laughing)
I don't Damsel well.
Distress, i can do.
Damseling?
Not so much."
I had made a friend. My second one in fourteen years. I was on a roll.
With how hungry I was I could eat a whole cow. Fork Optional.
3 billion woman with ovaries on this planet and I had to get the one vote 'most likly to become a delusional psychopath' as my mom"
Max (thinking): “In the dictionary, next to the word stress, there is a picture of a midsize mutant stuck inside a dog crate, wondering if her destiny is to be killed or to save the world. Okay, not really. But there should be.
