D. Gray Man~Secrets of The Order

D. Gray Man~Secrets of The Order: Chapter Nineteen

D. Gray Man—Chapter Nineteen

Those eyes, they seemed so familiar, like I've seen them somewhere before. I searched my mind anxiously to try and remember who those indigo eyes belonged to. After wasting fifteen minutes of my time, trying to remember, I gave up. I probably looked crazy, standing there at the doorway, staring at nothing but invisible air. I hate it when I can't remember something I'm supposed to know.

I decided to explore the asylum, until other person arrives to visit me. The asylum was actually relatively large. I walked around it a few times now. It's basically a round doughnut. Of course, I wouldn't know exactly, but I'm just estimating.

There was a main lounge, I think that's where people come in. The room was pretty big. But it didn't have a high ceiling. I've also just realized that I was still wearing my exorcist clothes. I had expected them to put me in those white robes that people in hospitals wear, but I'm guessing that they respected my privacy.

A few doctors and nurses rushed by occasionally, but they would spare me a look and then hurry to where ever they needed to be. I'm guessing that they thought I was sane. Only one of them actually stopped by and told me that I needed to be in my room. I asked him how he knew that I was a patient at the asylum, and he had answered that he was one of the doctors that were going to help me block out especially strong emotions.

Then he led me back to my stupid room. And now I'm in here, with nothing to do. At least I discovered a washroom, just a few steps away from my room. My legs hanged lazily over the stiff bed. I miss my old bed, the one at the Order was great. And I had just gotten used to it. Suddenly, a wave of uneasiness flushed over me.

I felt homesick. Even though I really never actually had a home, with a nice happy family living in it, I missed how I would long for the day when Allen nii-chan would come back home. It wasn't normal, of course. But it was the closest thing that proved that I had someone important to me. Allen nii-san was that special person to me.

The one that you loved. Everyone had that person. Including me.

I let my mind drift to a different subject every few seconds. The day passed by painfully slow.

“Akira-chan? Akira, Akira!!” Someone waved their hand in front of my face. My eyes focused, and I realized that Allen nii-chan was standing there, with Lavi-kun. What the heck were they doing?

“Are you okay, Akira-chan? You were spacing out. You didn’t even notice when we entered the room. We’ve been calling your name for the past minute.” Allen nii-san told me.

“Oh…sorry about that. Like you said, I was spacing out.” I got off the bed and gave Allen nii-chan a brief hug. I smiled at Lavi-kun. “So, are you guys here to get me out of here?”

Allen nii-san looked confused, “Aren’t you staying here for a while? I thought doctors are going to try to help you block out emotions.” My smile dropped like a flying bird that just got shot. They’re not going to get me out?! Maybe if I told Allen nii-chan and Lavi-kun that I didn’t want to stay here, they’ll try and help me get out.

“But I don’t want to stay here. Why can’t I do that at the Order? Where everybody else is.”

This time, it was Lavi-kun who spoke up, "I think it's to prevent you from getting contact with emotions that might affect your mind, you fainted on the mission right?" When he said that, I didn't have anything to say. My cheeks were warm, embarrassed that I had failed my second mission, again. And the fact that I couldn't think of anything to say in the situation.

Allen nii-san didn't say anything either. He just put an arm on my shoulders gave me an side-hug. I loved his hugs, except right now, I didn't want them, they felt like they were teasing me. Irritation was building up inside of me. Why is everyone telling me that I can't leave? Of course I can leave. I'm not mentally disabled. I'm not physically disabled. There's nothing wrong with me. I'll live.