What You Don't Know (Peterick AU) [COMPLETED]

23.

Patrick's POV

I'm freezing cold when I wake up again so I snuggle against the nice big warm lump in the sheets beside me. It takes a minute to realise what the lump is then I jump awake in shock because there's not supposed to be anyone in my bed. God damn Pete are you kidding me? I know I invited him over but I thought I would have told him to piss off not cuddled up with this ass again. Stupid me being sleepy and in love with him.

"Pete" I hiss and try to get out of the iron grip he's holding me in "Pete wake the hell up" "No come here". His voice is so deep and sleepy that it gives me a hard on which is awkward since we're so close so I sigh and relax in his arms "Just calm down punky baby" "I'm still mad" "I know, I've fucked up but let me be here with you a bit longer before you kick me out or tell your brother to throw me out a window. I do love you so let me stay with you for a minute" "I guess" "Thank you, get back here your too far away, I'm cold again"

He's so pretty with his messy hair and husky voice so I cuddle against him more and sigh against his neck "I've missed this" "Me too" "I don't wanna leave you" "Then let's do this, I don't wanna leave you either" "I'm not a hidden shame, I'm not hiding and letting you hurt me for your friends amusement" "But that's the only way, that's the only way we can have this, so we can cuddle and be together" "Please Pete please, just come out with me and be with me, I need you" "I can't" "Please, I'll do whatever you want, whatever you need just be with me, I love you" "I love you to but I can't. I'll be with you every second I can, every lunch and after school, just not in front of people"

I can't stop myself tearing up as I cuddle closer to Pete because I got so excited and that after this he'd agree but he isn't.

"Pete I want to, I really want to but I can't handle it. I can't handle you loving me and taking care of me in private then beating me in public, I can't handle getting abused by you" "I'm trying not to but I can't say no"

I lie in silence for a while then curse myself for loving him too much. I promise myself I wouldn't compromise but I have to, I need Pete so much and maybe it won't be too bad.

"Fine look, I've decided if you hit me again I can't be with you. If you don't then I don't care how public it is or what you need to do, I can be with you" "So if I stand and don't stop Andy and Joe you won't mind?" "I will mind but I'll still love you and be with you" "Ok, I don't wanna hurt you so I won't. I'm sorry I can't do what you want but I'm trying, I'll make this up to you, I'll make you feel perfect" "Ok, I'll let you"

I'm sad he can't do what I want and made me give in but at least it won't be so hard. Him hurting me is horrible so maybe it won't be so bad if he doesn't do it anymore. Maybe he's been right the whole time, being with him is worth hiding and putting up with all the shit I get.

"Walk to school with me?" "I can't, I need to go home and get dressed and get my bag but lunchtime in the bathroom alright?" "Ok panda" "I love you and I'll see you then, I'm so so so happy I can be with you, I've missed being with you"

He pecks my lips then climbs back out my window to start walking back to his house. It sucks but I can deal with it, I'm not weak and I'm not going to let them make me weak. I need to be strong and live through this so I can be happy with Pete.

I walk to school and avoid everyone the whole morning and I'm almost to the bathroom at lunch when things go wrong. Andy, Joe and Pete are by the lockers so I immediately know I won't be able to get into the bathroom.

"Hey faggot good to see you" Andy shouts so I turn and try to back away but he grabs me and forces me over "Aren't you glad to see us?" Him and Joe kick at my heels until I fall over then have fun kicking at my stomach so I curl up in pain. This sucks but Pete hasn't touched me just like he promised so maybe this is going to work. Maybe I can be happy with him and he'll make everything better after this.

Joe forces me onto my knees so I'm looking up at Pete with teary eyes "Pete your turn with the fag". He promised, he fucking promised he wouldn't so he won't, he'll make some excuse and not hurt me. Maybe he'll drag me into the bathroom and pretend he wants to hurt me and actually just take care of me. I don't know but I trust him, he won't betray me again.

Pete looks at me for a while then sighs and puts his hand into my hair. He gives me a really apologetic look then kicks me in the stomach with his hard toed boots and shoves me to the floor. This wasn't even just him pushing me down, he kicked me, he said he didn't want anymore bruises on me but he just made one. The fact he ignored all the things we promised each other and that he doesn't care enough to stop hurts so bad.

The three of them walk off and leave me lying there to get up and go hide in the bathroom. Pete better not come in and do anything more, he's done what he wants. I've told him how I feel but he ignored it so I guess he's made his choice. He's had too many opportunities to make this ok.

The bruise in the middle of my chest from Pete's boot is horrible so I sigh and push my shirt down and slump against the wall. Maybe I should leave school but I can't ditch, I can't walk out no matter how much pain I'm in and how much I hate this.

The door swings open smacking against me but I ignore it and keep sitting there. Pete looks down at me sadly then shuts the door and jams a pen in the lock to keep it shut.

"Punky baby, I'm sorry" "Fuck off" "I'm sorry angel" "Not sorry enough to stop" "I couldn't, they'd know what's going on" "As I've said a million times, let them know, let them hate us" "No babe I can't" "Why not? I'm willing to, you're worth it to me so I'm willing to get beaten and bullied and treated like shit. I'm willing to have no friends and to hide and lie and take anything anyone gives me to be with you. Why won't you do that for me?" "I can't, I'm not like you" "I take so much shit everyday for you but you can't even not hit me. I'm not asking for the world, I'm not even asking you to come out. I'm asking for the guy I'm in love with to not beat me up, I don't need an abusive boyfriend"

I'm so done with him and for the first time in my entire life I think I'm going to ditch. I'll get in trouble and feel awful about it but I think I need to. I'll hide somewhere by myself then wait for school to finish so I can walk with Ethan.

"I'm leaving Pete" "No, you said to meet here, you said you'd be with me" "No I said I'd be with you if you didn't hurt me, I'll take any other shit I get but I asked for one thing from you. If you respect me I'll do everything you ask, I think you can tell who's getting the better deal here" "Yeah you are" "No I'm not, I'm putting up with insults and beatings and having no friends and hating myself just to have you. You can't make up one excuse not to hit me" "It's not as easy for me" "Stop making excuses, I gave you chances and you made your choice. You knew what would happen but you betrayed me and broke my heart so I'm done with you"

I throw the pen out of the door then walk out, ignoring everyone looking at me and hide in the park down the road.

My boyfriends an asshole. I don't ever wanna take him back again. He's chose other people over me so many times and I didn't want this to be like this. I wanted to be the first choice for him and I wanted to not feel inferior and unwanted for once. I wanted him to love me and for one second I wanted to feel like I'm the most important thing to someone. I didn't know it was so hard to get that.