Together Never Again (Lesbian story)

Chapter Three

Chapter Three
                       What Were You Thinking?

Oh, shit, shit, shit. Why did I do that?

I was already at school before Emily and my mind was going beserk. What would I say? What would I do? I had done the unthinkable last night! I've always been against being gay, went to church, hung out with girls and boys alike, and I've always been a proud Christian. Oh, what am I going to do?

I didn't really know how you knew when you're gay. I love guys, but what I had done yesterday makes me feel like a whole different person! 

Emily had kissed me. I only kissed her back and did.... that because I didn't want her to feel bad. She's my best friend... what else could I do? Did I really do it just for her?

Could I say no? Break her heart?

Lies would just make it worst.

Well, shit.

I was already at school. Sitting anxiously on the edge of my seat at school. Jake didn't come over to bother me, so I felt better. I'm on the volleyball team, so I was relaxing with most of them. I just wanted to keep my mind distracted. I'd bump into Emily eventually though. I'd have to admit to this, apologize for doing it, and maybe... oh, I don't know what I'm going to do.

Once homeroom had ended, I knew I'd bump into Emily on the way to third, I always have. Usually, I stopped and talked to her until the tardy bell rang. I didn't care much about going into gym, and the coach never noticed my tardiness.

Still, what would I do in this situation?

I have to admit I enjoyed it. Boy, did I.

But was I supposed to? Does that mean I'm a lesbian? I still like guys! So I'm bi-bisexual? Ugh! This is so confusing. If anyone on my volleyball team found out, they'd stop talking to me. I sighed into my hands while the teacher finished his lecture. I'm better than that though. I don't care about popularity. I want to be happy. I-I...

The bell seemed to ring in my ears more than usual. It scared me and caused me to gasp making people stare back at me. I could feel the ultimate judgement in their eyes as they looked upon me. The guys mouth seemed to smirk smugly at me, and the girls hushed whispering made my cheeks hot, my throat tight, and a shiver slowly traveling down my spine. They were talking about me. Talking about how I had been with Emily. Giggling about how they hadn't expected it from me.

I closed my eyes and felt the paranoia consume my thoughts and me. Holding onto myself, I kept my head down, and let a tear or two come off my dry eyes. Is this how it would always be? If I did have feelings for Emily?

I finally stood once everyone had departed from their desks, I kept my bag over my shoulder as I held one arm with the other. Walking down the hallway was worse than the classroom.

I stayed to the right, nearly hugging the lockers as peoples eyes traveled over me, but seemed to linger on me. I started breathing too hard and more teens gazed at me. I kept my head down and continued around everyone until I bumped into something.

"Ooof," I groaned, and brought my eyes up, "Watch where your-" I was ready to berate whoever had stopped in front of me only to find some one I really didn't want to see.

"Sarah," Jake greeted, grinning at my anger. I grimaced, narrowing my eyes at him.

I crossed my arms, and suddenly the nice, polite, and sweet girl I should have been disappeared, "What do you want?" His face cringed at the sound of hate trickling in my veins.