Looking for Heaven

Chapter Thirteen

Happiness gave way to uncertainty, to sadness. Something happened that he had long feared. For the first time in months, Justin had a nightmare.

It was different than any he had had before. It seemed less coherent, more Salvador Dali-esque... The giant did not loom over him, threatening utter destruction with its hideous joker smile. Justin was standing alone in the midst of a great wide open sandy plane, almost completely flat bar dunes and hills rising from the desert. A light wind whispered across the surface, pushing small clouds of sand around in swirling clouds. Justin was wearing a long white robe whose hem trailed away into the sand beneath his bare feet.

He tried to move his arms, his legs, his head – anything, but he was paralysed. All that could move were his eyes. They flickered around in their sockets in any direction they could, practically bulging out, in their desperation to find anything. To find salvation.

He felt something. On his head – in his hair... It was a scurrying: fast, erratic, all over his scalp, bristling his hair. He could feel thousands of things moving around and the more he tried to figure out what it was or escape – the more he could feel. He felt the roots of hairs being torn up, he felt thousands of tiny feet pressing down on the skin. More and more feet – more movement – more... clicking... like tiny mouths opening and shutting. He felt the things start scurrying down from the top of his head and around the back... and his face...

Hundreds of dirty bugs began crawling down his face, crawling over his mouth, nose and his eyes – which he now found impossible to shut. Their feet and mouths prodded into his exposed eyes. Hundreds upon thousands of them streamed down his head, but still more came – and came – and came... Centipedes, lice, maggots... Then flies suddenly appeared from nowhere and swarmed his body, making their way inside his robe and buzzing around his body along with all the rest of the filthy creatures. His body was now swarming with millions of horrendous crawling beasts.

He couldn't scream – his mouth was clamped shut. Muscles were exhausted from the constant struggle of his brain to force them to move, to lash out, to flee. Beads of sweat appeared on his forehead, his armpits became damp and his back moistened. The smell of sweat mixed with the unholy stench from the nightmarish swarms.

With one, almighty mental scream he succeeded in forcing his body to move, stiffly at first... Then faster and smoother every second until finally he could run, terrified across the sandy plane. The flies still buzzed around him, managing to keep up, will a substantial number of insects fell off him – but more remained. As he ran faster and faster he could feel every move they made: their tiny legs prickling his skin, teeth biting down and drawing blood... He started screaming.

As he ran on his legs pumped faster than they ever had. Pains shot up and down the nerves and he felt cramps in the muscles but forced them to plough through the agony. He had to get away from the horror! The sweat pumped from all pores and his hair was flattened against his forehead and eyes, blocking his view. It stung like tiny knives stabbing repeatedly.

Just when he thought that his heart would actually burst and his legs would split apart he suddenly slammed into something with such force that he was bounced back and landed on his ass in the sand. The insects and bugs and all the tormentors immediately let him alone and vanished beneath the shifting sands. Shaking off his sandy hands he looked up and did a double take.

Rising tall and imposing was a wooden trunk of a once living tree. The leaves had long since died and the branches had fallen away. And carved from the wood was an almost lifelike image of Daniel. Justin scrambled to his feet, toes slipping in the sand. His hands grabbed the wooden face and he saw Daniel's face was twisted into a hideous grimace – fear and sadness were mingled in his expression... As Justin watched a tear fell from one of the carved eyes and fell on his hand. An unexplainable urge made him wrap his arms around the effigy and hug it like it was a living, breathing human.