Looking for Heaven

Chapter Four

Hazel walked up the stairs and up to Justin's door. There was a red-and-black "Keep Out" thumb tacked to it. Normally she would knock, but she was so pre-occupied that this completely slipped her mind and she turned the handle and walked right into his room.

"Honey, please, I know someth-" she began. She stopped mind sentence, her mouth hanging open, shaking slightly, She could feel her heart skip a few beats as she took in what she saw.

Justin was standing beside his bed. He had taken his jumper off and it now lay sprawled across the floor. He was shirtless, hunched over a drawer of t-shirts. His pale skin that covered his slender body frame was covered with bruises. Not just small ones, but big, dirty bruises: dark purple, blue and black. Some were almost faded away - others were brand new. They were mainly centred around his chest and the base of his ribs, but they were spread all over, even his back. There were also many small cuts all over him, no more 5cms long, going in all directions over his skin. Even his arms were covered in marks - and finger prints around his wrist.

He jumped at her suddenly entrance and seemed to wince with pain. He bent down and grabbed the jumper and held it over him, trying to hide the marks, hoping she didn't have time to see them.

"What the hell! Why don't you knock first?!"

Hazel stood where she was, her mouth opening and closing, attempting to form words. Whatever she had thought was going on, nothing could have prepared her for the sight of son covered in what were the signs of abuse.

"Oh my God," she finally uttered. "Wha... what happened?"

"Nothing," he stammered. "I just fell down some stairs. Now please, leave-"

"Bullshit!" she said firmly. She rarely ever swore. "What happened? Tell me!"

He looked at her with wide eyes that were beginning to well up. He closed them for a moment and took a few deep breaths. "Come in and close the door."

Hazel stepped into the room and shut the door quietly as Justin pulled a long-sleeved t-shirt over his head. That's why he was wearing that jumper. Her hands were shaking as she pulled them away from the door and wrung them together. Justin sat down on the bed and motioned for her to sit beside him. She slowly walked across the floor, never taking her eyes off his face. The light brown hair that lay floppy against his head and the downcast blue eyes did not betray the shape he was in. She sat down and put her hand over his that was on the bed. He pulled it away and started rubbing his knees nervously. She waited for him to talk.

"I was walking down to the shop at lunch," he started. "And some guy... jumped out at me..."

"What happened?"

"He... he held a knife- to my throat. He made me give him my money... I did, but... he beat me up anyway."

He was avoiding looking at her. He was looking anywhere but in her direction. This was suspicious in itself, but the story didn't add up. If she were to believe him, this was a random act of violence - but the marks on his body were clearly spread out over time. "I don't believe you."

He furrowed his brow. "It's the truth."

"Justin-"

"It was just some random once off robbery-"

"No," she responded, her voice firm. "Tell me the truth."

His eyes twitched and he let out a low sigh.

"There.. was a fight at school..." he finally said in barely more than a whisper.

"Yes..."

"Well..." he continued. "It wasn't exactly a fight..."

Hazel's lip was trembling. "Then what was it?"

"It was more..." he paused and took a breath. His knee was bouncing up and down and his voice was cracking. It was that sound people make when they're trying not to cry. "Me on the ground... being punched..."

Hazel took a sharp breath and clenched her teeth.

"And kicked... and..."

She wanted to scream, shout, swear, rave, and vent her white hot rage. She controlled herself. The last thing needed right now would be for her to lose her mind. "Who did this?"

There was a pause. "You don't know him."

"Tell me his name! How long has this been going on?"

"Not long. About three weeks."

She could feel her heart ache. "Three weeks?" she whispered. "Why?"

There was another pause. "I don't know."

"Right," she continued. "We'll go to the teachers and his parents-"

Justin snapped his head around to look at her. She had never seen such fear in his eyes. "No!"

Her lips curled. "Why not?"

"Doing that would just make it worse," he answered. "I'll sort it out in my own way."

"We have to do something-"

"No," he said very firmly. "I'll handle it. Don't worry."

"Of course I'm going to worry, you're my son. I'll have to tell your dad-"

"Don't," he said quickly.

Hazel stammered. "Why not?"

"I don't want anyone else to know about this."

"But Justin-"

"The more people know, the worse it'll get, trust me."

She reached over and put her hand over his. His knee stopped bouncing. She looked into his face and he turned it to meet her gaze. His eyes were sparkling with tears. As he blinked the tears slipped down his face and dripped off his chin. She leaned over and kissed him on the cheek.

"I want to help..."

"You can't," he replied, his voice breaking as he cried. "I'll handle it."

They suddenly threw themselves into tight embrace and remained there for several minutes. They could feel the other's chests rising and falling slowly the backs of their necks becoming wet from the tears that were streaming down both their faces.