I'm Not A Jersey Kind Of Guy

Chapter 32

Oh hey there :) Here's Chapter 32! It's great because I've written 32 chapters, but it's sad because it's going to end soon :/ only a few more chapters left. I'm not sure how many exactly, but it's getting close... But there is still more twists to come!!! I hope you like this chapter! :) 

Beckham O'Neil

When I got back home, I dropped the keys on the kitchen counter. Paul craned his neck towards me, "Where'd you go?"

I shook my head, "No where." I trudged in the direction of my bedroom.

I was expecting Emma to sitting on the bed waiting for me, but when I opened the door I could tell she had been long gone. I sighed as I closed the door behind me. I wanted to run to her house and explain everything but there was a small voice in my head saying "Don't." Add hearing voice to the list of things I need to talk about at my therapy sessions.

I flopped onto the bed and closed my eyes. I had told Dr. Coleman about Emma. About how she had come to me when she had lost the baby. I told him how I ran out of there faster than I have ever run before. He told me the first thing was to apologize, the next step was to explain, if I was ready. But I wasn't.

Emma had confided in me about her whole life. She told me her deepest secret that no one besides myself and Coach Stevens knew. She trusted me to keep that secret, and I did. For the most part. Dr. Coleman doesn't count. She trusts me, but I can't trust her with mine. I can't trust her. Why can't I trust her?

I placed my arms over my eyes and soon fell asleep.

I woke up to the smell of eggs and bacon cooking. Curious, I got up and changed out of yesterday's clothes into new ones.  I entered the kitchen to find Jane over the stove. She looked at me, "Good morning, Beckie. You seemed kind of sad yesterday when you got home, so I thought I'd make some eggs and bacon."

I smiled back, "Thanks, Jane, but I'm not all that hungry." I walked over to the back door. "I'm going to go for a run at the track." I picked up my cleats on the way out.

I felt bad that I left Jane like that. It was thoughtful of her to cook breakfast, but after last night what I needed wasn't food. It was a good run. Running always helped me clear my head.

I ran a warm up lap before I stretched out my muscles. They ached from not being used since Friday. I sprinted a few laps before I started to slow down into run. I stopped when I saw her standing beside my things. "I thought you weren't supposed to do any physical exercises since you got that concussion."

I walked over to Emma. "Hey."

"I thought I'd find you here."

I nodded, "You thought right." I stood there for a second, staring at the track. "Emma, I'm so sorry I ran out on you like that. I mean I wanted to be there for you, but I just couldn't."

She put a hand on my arm, "It's okay. I understand."

I shook my head, "No you don't."

"Then help me understand."

I looked up at her. "I wish I could, but I can't. It's about my family, and I just, I'm not ready to talk about it."

She nodded, "Okay. That's fine. I don't have to know your whole life story."

I smiled, "That's funny coming from you."

She cocked an eyebrow, "Excuse me? What's that supposed to mean?"

"Just that you've told me every little detail about your life."

She just smiled and rolled her eyes, "Oh please, Beck. There is plenty about me you don't know."