If I Believe

Chapter Twenty-Five

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Chapter Twenty-Five

I sighed as I close my bed room door.

This day was the longest, dramatic, betraying day of my life. Not only I didn’t get an utter silence since I arrived but until now, gossip and murmurs never stopped.

If truth be told, I have problems with my temper. I admit that, but I don’t think that I could try more to control my temper since, this is outrageous! I mean, isn’t it bad enough that they’re talking about me at school, and does that drama really has to come along with me when I got home?

Sure, I get in trouble which causes a lot of rumours or gossip around, but I admit that it’s my fault and whatever happened had been my wrong doing. But this time, I didn’t even hurt a fly! And, so what if Principal John talked to me and asked everyone to be at the very least considerable of others. If it’s not too hard to leave me alone, then above all people why would they choose me to talk about?

Nothing had made me even angrier than I am right now. It’s beyond humiliation. It felt more like bullying. Of course, I’ve never experienced being bullied since no one’s that dumb enough to try. But now, I gotta say, its way worse than I ever imagine.

“Ianna,” Nathan said through the door. Why can’t he just open it? Isn’t that what he’s good at? Interrupting people? My life’s all well and perfect until he came. So why am I blaming all to him all of a sudden?

“It’s open,” I said trying hard to not let my voice crack. Seriously, this guy has seen me cry for too many times. No way am I going to let him see me cry, again. And, well, even though he’s good at making someone comfortable, I am not taking any chances of crying in front of him. I don’t care if I look stupid trying to hold back my fighting tears, but I am not going cry. Period.

He pushed the door gently open. He poked his head, scared that maybe, at some point, I might attack him. He seemed to know everything. So when he saw me, instead of frowning and trying to understand how and why acted like that, he smiled and pretended to know nothing.

Does he really have to be that good at making me comfortable? Really, he seems like the only one who could make me smile on the edge of crying. Yipee! Should I celebrate for that or not?

“You ran off,” He started. Slowly but surely. Of course, he can’t just say, Hey, Ianna, remember at lunch time, when Stacey mysteriously sat with us, and she avoided eye contact, you ran off. Would you like to share why?. Try or he’ll fly out the window,

I sighed, “Well, technically, I did not. Left could have been a better term,” I said, suggesting a much better term of my early actions at school.

He nodded. “Well, if that’s how you put it, you left,” He said, emphasizing the word left.I rolled my eyes and tried to ignore and act dumb to what he’s trying to say.

Call me dumb, call me numb. Call me whatever you want but I am not going to talk about something or anything.

“Well, seems like you’re not going to talk about it,” He mutters.

I stared at him. So he was trying to know why I left earlier. Poor him, I am not going to talk about it, “You’re damn right.”

“You know, I don’t get it why she acted like nothing ever happened. I hate it when she makes me look like a stupid person in front of everybody pulling out a show that she only seems to play,” I suddenly said.

So maybe I couldn’t take it anymore. And maybe it’s a good thing, I guess. And my stupid little mouth said too much.

“Ah, it explains.” He said. Is that how simple his reply is? Come on! I just spilled my guts to him and that’s all the reaction or reply I get? Just Ah, it explains?

“No, you don’t know what I mean,” I said with a sigh. Sure, even if he does. It’s not the exact picture I meant to say. He might even misunderstand me.

“Then what do you mean?” He asked. I sense something here.

Wha? Wait a minute. He’s, some kind of, brainwashing me on telling him! That little, or maybe huge, prick! Oh, so he thinks he can fool me on telling him. Ha! No way mister!

“Wha? I think I know we’re heading this conversation. I say no more, mister!” I retorted at him. He smirked.

“You learn fast, and feisty,” He said, rubbing his chin, “I like it.”

I like it? Wha? Wait! Hold on a sec! I like it? What the hell does that supposed to mean? I am sure not a boy expert! And learn fast? What the hell? “Is this some kind of a tutoring lesson to you? You learn fast, what the hell does that mean?”

He shrugged. “You’re the genius, you do the math.”

Okay, first of all, I know that was just a figure of speech. And second of all, I do not do Math! Especially if that’s linear equation or whatever Math’y crap! And I am definitely not a genius. I am not Einstein or Shakespeare or Pythagoras! I am not genius! I don’t even know if my brain’s working right.

“Wha?” I said, wanting to ask so many question at once but he’s already on his way out of my room.

“You’ll figure it out, Yani. You’ll figure it out.” He said and with that my door closed and leaving me awe-struck.

For a minute, I froze there. Yani? Hell? Where did that came from? And did I give him the permission to give me a nickname? Oh, I don’t think so. And what am I going to figure out? A girl’s brain is already hard to understand, but, dang, a boy’s brain is million times harder to understand.

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