If I Believe

Chapter Ten

Chapter Ten:

“Ianna, Nathan, we’re home,” Mum yelled from downstairs. Like I didn’t notice the loud rev of her car.

I switched my position. This time, my back was lying relaxed in my bed. To be really honest, my bed now is not that soft as my old one. It’s a bit springy, but I could, I mean, Dad could fix that up in no time.

I remember when how I used to jump up and down springy beds when I was young. That, it felt like it was the most fun thing to do ever, but when I finally stopped sleeping with my Mum and Dad in their room, I realized jumping up and down the bed can make it more springy and less relaxing so I stopped jumping in beds since then.

A faint knock on the door made me feel aware of the reality and present. If that’s Nathan, I swear on my grave that I’m not going to be all Miss Nice Girl, I will, again, slam the door in his face.

I stood up too quickly that it made me feel a little bit dizzy. Fuzzy-wuzzy what’s the hassle? I stood there, trying to adjust my head and balance. I slowly walked to the door and practically rolled at eyes at the sight.

“Dweebs. What do you want?” I asked.

Without saying a single word, they ran pass me and started jumping up and down in my bed. Great, more springs for me. And more unpleasant sleep for me due to my lack of relaxness in my sleep.

“Hey, stop jumping from my bed,” I said, but a little bit out of energy. I can’t argue anymore, I seen, heard, and encountered enough for one day. I don’t want to add another.

“What’s wrong here?” Mum suddenly asked, appearing from the stairs.

My shoulders hunched. It means I’m tired. “The Dweebs. They’re jumping up and down in my bed. I can’t make them stop. Can you please?”

She raised her eyebrows at me. “You control them pretty well before. What happened? Are you sick? Are you feeling well? Did they do something at you in school?” She bombarded me with a lot of question. But none seems to be the answer. I’m tired.

“I’m fine. I just... I don’t know what to do with this room. I can’t make anything work. I can’t move the bed because it’s too heavy. I can’t hang my posters and pictures because I’m scared that they may not turn out well and when I’m going to remove them, there will be glue stains in it. I can’t put any carpets yet because, well, I still don’t have any.” I said, stating the most of my concerns at moment when she came.

“Well, we’ll fix that up some other time, but now, all you can do about the room is the posters and pictures. I, myself, is a little too old and tired for lifting your heavy bed. And, hey Dweebs,” Mum said, using my nickname for the twins, “Your sister is a wee bit tired and she needs to rest. Off the bed.”

And with that, the Dweebs left my room. I couldn’t be happier. But there’s that strong feeling in my gut saying that this day wouldn’t get that much happier after all the melodramatic day. Only if I could turn back time and undo all my mistakes from accepting Miss Claire’s offer, my morning chat with Tristan, my super hyped-up persona before the movie, my bitchy tone of voice when I was trying to shoo Nathan away, and when I lied to Mum when she asked me if I’m sick.

If only I take time thinking about my decisions, overall goodness, not for short term, then, maybe I wouldn’t be agonizing here with regrets from all the things that I decided.

I rolled over my tummy again, making my face buried in my pillows, again. But this time, it felt like even how much I tried to drown myself with everything, I can’t seem to be drowning. It felt like I’m still floating instead of falling.

Knock! Knock! Knock!

I don’t intend on answering that, but after a few more seconds, the door opened itself and Dad was resting in its door frame, looking upset and tired.

“Hey, princess.” He said. He walks to me bed and sit at the corner. “How are you feeling?”

I buried my face more. “Not well.” I managed to say.

Honestly, I am not feeling well. But not that I-think-I’m-sick kind of not well. More like I-don’t-know-what-happened-to-me not well. I hope he understand what I meant.

“Well, dinner’s served if you want to eat. If not, you can come down any time you want, your meal is on the fridge.” He said.

I look up and nodded.

A few seconds later, I felt my door close quietly. Now I’m utterly alone.

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