Corren's Fight

Chapter Twelve - Scars

Jem to the side there ---->

I opened my eyes to a blinding brightness coming in through the window. I twisted in my bed, moving my face away from the sun. I lazily blinked my eyes open. It was another morning in Jem's house. Clothes from this week were in random piles on the floor. My empty pencil sharpeners were still on my nightstand. Emily was asleep on the windowsill seat.

My eyes flashed wide open. Wait, Emily?

Sure enough the girl was fast asleep on the little bed-like seat in front of a window. Her mouth was in a little pout, her body limp, and facial features relaxed. I sat up. My bed creaked at the movement. Emily's eyes snapped open. We stared at each other.

"Hey," Emily whispered.

I started to remember what had happened last night. How I had tried to drown myself in the river. Then I recalled being pulled up by an invisible force.

"You should have let me die..."

Emily looked down. "I couldn't do that."

"How did you fight the current?"

Emily turned her head and stared out the window. "I fell into the water when I was little. I would have drowned if my dad hadn't jumped in after me. A couple days later he brought me back when the water was in rapids again. He taught me how to swim in it. That's how I was able to save you."

I stayed silent, processing what she had told me.

I noticed she was wearing one of my shirts. "Why did you stay?"

She shrugged. "Just returning the favor I guess. I know you'd do the same for me."

I didn't say anything.

"Corren," I looked up. "Why don't your pencil sharpeners have blades in them?"

My body locked in place.

Emily stood up and walked over. "Show me your wrists."

I moved my left arm behind my back and got up. "Emily..."

"Please?"

I backed away.

"Corren, please-"

"Stop!"

Emily flinched. She was standing in front of me now.

I couldn't shake the guilt rising in my chest. "No one wants a boy with scars..."

Emily took a step back, her eyes filled with determination, and showed me one of her wrists. Little white slashes lined her skin. I took her wrist in my hands and examined the scars.

"Emily..." I couldn't find my words.

Emily shook her head and took her hand back to lift the side of her shirt. Even worse marks were lined along her waist and ribs.

"I know how it feels," She said ever so softly. "I know exactly how it feels to cry in the shower so no one will hear you, and waiting for everyone to fall asleep so you can fall apart- for everything to hurt so bad that you just want it to end. All those voices in your head telling you you're not good enough, that you wont be missed if you're gone. I know exactly how it feels."

I stayed there in a stunned silence.

"You're not worthless because you have scars, Corren... I care about you. More than I should." She muttered the last part. Her voice rose an octave higher. "And don't tell me I shouldn't care because I can't stop caring even if I wanted to! Maybe it's because I know what it's like to believe no one in the world knows you exist. I'd never forgive myself if I gave up on anyone in my life... and I'm sure as hell not giving up on you."