Starstruck

Chapter 19b: Implosion (part 2)

CHAPTER 19

Implosion (part 2)

"What do you mean you're not coming to the game?" Bri demanded Friday afternoon as we got on the bus to go home. "You always come to the games. Just because you and Rigel--"

"I'm not coming, okay?" I repeated. "My aunt doesn't like me going to the away games anyway, so I thought I'd humor her this week. Maybe it'll put her in a better mood for the next time I want something."

She gave me a dark look as we sat down, then turned to Deb for support. "She has to come, doesn't she, Deb? If you don't, it'll be like admitting, I don't know, that Trina's won and you've lost. And I can't stand it. What does he even see in her?"

"Besides the obvious?" I said. Since Tuesday, Rigel had been spending almost as much time with Trina as he used to spend with me. So much that I couldn't help wondering--a little--if this breakup was just about keeping me safe.

"Trina's obvious, all right," Deb said with a snort and Bri laughed in agreement. "She can't hold a candle to you, M, and Rigel can't be so blind he doesn't know it."

I shrugged, pretending an unconcern I didn't feel. "What he does is his business, not mine. Not anymore."

Some of the pain I was feeling must have leaked into my voice, because they left me alone after that, except for furtive, pitying glances I did my best to ignore. I found myself secretly hoping Rigel would play badly tonight, and that it would make him miss me. Plus, it would piss off Trina. It wasn't nice, but I couldn't help it.

I expected the weekend to be a relief from the stress of Rigel ignoring me, and of me pretending I didn't care. But I was tired and achy, probably from trying so hard all week to convince everyone that I was okay when I totally wasn't.

I was glad it rained on Saturday, sparing me from mowing the lawn. I didn't think I was up to it. And in taekwondo class, I wasn't surprised that I had backslid from my previous progress.

"Is anything wrong, Marsha?" Master Parker asked after class. "The belt test is next week, you know. I didn't think you would have any problem, but--"

"I'm fine, sir," I replied quickly. "I just have a cold or something. I'm sure I'll be okay in time for the test." In fact, I'd forgotten all about the belt test and couldn't bring myself to care much. But Aunt Theresa had already paid for it, so I did need to pass. "I'll review everything this week," I promised.

Sunday, neither Rigel nor his parents were at church. Had they changed churches just to avoid me? Uncle Louie commented on their absence, asking me if they were out of town, but all I could do was shrug. And feel miserable.

"You picked a good game to skip," Debbi said when she and Bri joined me on the bus Monday morning. "We won, but only by one point--and that was against Edgewood. We nearly beat them last year, when we sucked so bad. Rigel's game was way off."

"Really?" My interest was immediately snagged. "I saw the score in the paper Saturday, but there wasn't any article with it." I'd sneaked a peek at the sports section after Uncle Louie finished it. "What happened?"

Bri took over with the technical stuff. "He missed five easy passes and only ran in one touchdown, and that was only because one of their defenders blew the tackle. He even got sacked twice. He's never been sacked before! At least, not this season."

"Maybe he misses you more than he's letting on," Deb suggested.

I felt suddenly guilty for wishing exactly this on Friday, now that it had come true. Yeah, I was sure Rigel did miss me, or at least missed the way I helped his football game. But it's not like it was my idea to break up.