Starstruck

Chapter 19a: Implosion (part 1)

CHAPTER 19

Implosion (part 1)

School the next day was even worse than I expected.

I barely remembered walking home after Rigel left me in the arboretum. Once home I'd somehow maintained the illusion that my world hadn't caved in, or so I assumed by my aunt's and uncle's lack of concern. I'd even managed to hold off crying until I was in bed. But then I fell apart, sobbing so hard I had to muffle my mouth with my pillow so my aunt wouldn't hear and come to investigate.

Waiting for the bus, I told myself I should have realized it was too good to last. For two weeks everything had been perfect. Beyond perfect. I'd never been happier in my life. But now it was over. Maybe not forever, but probably for a long time.

I almost hoped the bad guys would get here quick and get it over with, one way or the other. Except that even if I survived whatever they did, I'd probably end up exiled to some Martian compound.

Without Rigel.

In a daze of loss and lack of sleep, I boarded the bus.

"Somebody got up on the wrong side of the bed," Trina snarked as I walked past her. Then she dropped her backpack right in my path so I'd trip.

Instead, I kicked it--hard--and it skittered to the back of the bus. I didn't apologize. I didn't say anything at all, even though she was sputtering and calling me names. I just sat down a few seats behind her and stared straight ahead.

Bri and Deb were more observant than my aunt and uncle. "Omigod, what's wrong?" Deb demanded as Bri slid in next to me a few minutes later.

"You look like your cat died," Bri stated, "except I know you don't have a cat."

I figured I might as well tell them--they'd find out soon enough anyway. And as soon as word got around school, they were likely to be the only friends I had. "Rigel and I broke up." My voice sounded as dead as I felt.

"What?" they chorused. "But you two were so perfect together," Bri said at the same time Deb asked, "What happened?"

Though I'd spent half the night thinking about how I'd answer that question, I still hadn't decided what to say. I couldn't bring myself to take Rigel's suggestion of putting the blame on him, not when he was doing this to keep me safe.

"I'm . . . not sure," I finally said when they started to bounce impatiently. "We . . . kind of had a fight."

That wasn't good enough for Bri. "So? Who dumped who?"

Like anyone could ever believe I'd dump Rigel? But even though it was true, sort of, I couldn't bring myself to admit out loud that he'd done the dumping. Especially with half the bus listening in.

"It was sort of mutual," I mumbled.

Now Deb was shaking her head. "No way. It has to just be some huge misunderstanding, like the shock thing. We'll sit you two down and make you talk things out, and--"

"No, Deb, it's over. Really. Please don't make things harder."

She didn't look satisfied, and from the looks she and Bri exchanged I could tell they weren't going to give up that easily. But much as I wished they could be right, I knew they weren't. Rigel had said, "Stay away from me." And he'd meant it.

Even though we'd had our heads together for the whole conversation, by the time we got off the bus, the news had already spread. Trina was waiting on the curb with a big, nasty smile when I stepped down.