I Am A Monster

I Am A Monster : Chapter 11

Chapter 11

My world spirals out of control, slipping out of my grip.
It was me? Impossible.
For a second, I stare at her, and she stares back at me, completely serious. Sabrina does not seem like a person to joke, but really. Me? Right. I'm no descendant of an evil princess, thanks. No way.
Instead of telling her she's crazy, a few select words topple out of my mouth before I can stop them. "I speak prophecies? When did I speak it?"
She looks at me for a while. Then she launches into a speech.
"Amari told me. She's a good person, Amari. You were in the forest, and she told you that she wanted to rest soon, but your connection seemed to be blocked. Immediately she got suspicious. What if Marcus was thrown off your back? But it didn't happen like that. Your eyes turned acid green, and then she was hearing words from your head, but they didn't sound like your voice. It was ancient and powerful. You recited:
The blonde and Amari must face in battle
And the loser will not be throttled
So beware of the two, for the death will be painful
And the winner will be so quite disdainful."
"What kind of prophecy is that?" I ask.
She eyes me suspiciously. "I just told you a Great Prophecy that you uttered, and your only words are 'What kind of prophecy is that?'"
"Yeah," I say, a little defensively.
She throws up her arms in exasperation. "You're a Prophecy Maker! You don't ask questions like that! People ask you questions like that!"
Immediately, a low snarl escapes my throat. I feel myself losing control, my wolf desperately grasping at a chance to change. I push down the feeling and growl, "I don't ask questions like that? Don't assume stuff, girl. I ask whatever questions I feel like. I'm not supposed to act in a certain way."
I don't know why I'm so defensive all of a sudden; it's like she's triggered something. But I quickly forget about that when I see her reaction.
Her expression becomes as dark as obsidian. It's her turn to snarl; for a second, a murderous light dances in her eye. Then it's gone, replaced by a controlled rage. "Don't you dare call your alpha girl," she snarls. "Do you know how hugely disrespectful that is?"
"Well, you are a girl, unlike most alphas," I retort. Then I realize it's my wolf talking; I quickly blurt out, "Sorry! That wasn't me."
She seems to calm down a lot. "Yes, sometimes our wolves can be very annoying. Never talking to us, but affecting our thoughts and words and actions. I'm sorry I jumped on you like that; that wasn't entirely me, either."
"Wolves are so annoying," I grumble.
She cracks a smile. "I agree." Then she snarls, and rolls her eyes at herself--well, what is seems like, though we both know it's her wolf that's the one snarling.
I laugh openly. The wall I've been unconsciously holding up since I've met her crumbles. I've openly laughed in front of her. I haven't laughed since I was fifteen, when Dad was killed and I ran away. That makes me want to sob. I look away, blinking rapidly and trying to control the tears that suddenly want to burst forth.
"We should leave," Sabrina decides, seeing my expression. "Why are you....Are you upset?"
"No," I lie.
She doesn't believe me, attempting to grab my jacket as I try to make a run for it. Although I attempt to phase into my wolf form, my wolf stops me. In my head, I scold it, telling it to just let me do what I want, but it stubbornly refuses, retreating into the corner of my mind and not letting me transform. I snarl aloud at it.
"No use doing that," says Sabrina crossly. I sigh and stop struggling, knowing it's futile.
"Tell me why you're upset," she tells me. I hear something in her voice, like a second layer, and immediately realize that she's using an Alpha voice. My wolf self bends my human mind, tramples over it, and, against my will, I begin to speak.
"I used to live in a village. Then one day the vampires arrived. My mother was the first to be killed. Everyone could hear her scream, the last one she would ever make." It's so hard to hold in my tears that I succumb, looking down as they slide down my face before continuing in a wavering voice, "We found her body. My dad pulled me away. Then we ran away. I was fourteen. We found an old, abandoned house way out in the wild. It was dilapidated at the time, but we made it livable. Then, when I was fifteen, they found us again. My dad told me to run, and he faced them alone. When he was dead..." My shoulders shake with suppressed sobs. My voice, much to my displeasure and embarrassment, becomes croaky. I've always try to keep my emotions hidden and in check, and both thoughts are betraying me now. I scowl inwardly at my wolf self before continuing in a whisper, "I ran into the forest. I was faster than them. I was running for two years. Then...." I pause, remembering how I woke up in the wild with no memory. Even now, my visions haven't told me what happened, how I lost my memory. "then, I was captured. I found Amari and Marcus, and we escaped together. We were traveling for a few days before we found you."
She nods and then says, "Amari told me you'd had a vision. What are those about?"
My wolf self snarls, but I manage not to repeat that little bit aloud. I was hoping to keep my visions a secret, and to hide my weakness of losing my memory.
"Just...reliving the past, I guess. My werewolf mind is probably trying to remind me that life isn't perfect or something. Just...stop."
My vision is blurry with tears. I get up and look into the woods. It's getting dark.
"Come," says Sabrina, "let's go back to camp."

* * *

I'm sitting on the ridge, watching the sun lower in a burst of red, orange, yellow, and pink. Sabrina assigned me to Guard Duty, which I was grateful for, because I knew she secretly knew that I needed to be given some privacy. I'm gazing at the sky with what I know is a sad, lost expression. I miss Mom and Dad. I wish they were here right now. I remember Dad's smile, the way he laughed; his death is more fresh in my mind. I'm alone on the ridge; most of the pack is already sleeping a few hundred feet away. Here, I'm alone. I let the sobs overcome, and my shoulders shake. I let out a high-pitched wail that I've been keeping in since Dad's death. Then I lie in the grass, still sobbing quietly.
"Bree!" I hear Marcus call. "Bree! Are you okay?"
I realize I have not made myself unheard, and wish I hadn't sobbed so loud. But with the picture of Dad still in my mind, I can't bring myself to answer him. He finds me, though.
"Bree!" He cries.
"I'm fine," I mutter. I know he can hear the tears in my voice, and I keep my head down.
"Bree," he says quietly, "what is it?"
"Nothing!" I say, looking up at him, my eyes stinging. "Leave me alone!" I wipe off the tears on my face.
"Bree," he whispers, "I know about your parents. I lost mine, too."
Even though it was two years ago, Dad's death is still fresh in my mind.
"I know!" I sob. "Everyone lost their parents! Now go away!"
I know that he can hear the pain in my voice. From below, I see the familiar white wolf look up at me. I look away.
"GO AWAY!" I scream.
He nods once, and I can see the pain in his eyes. Then he retreats down the hill.
I sob all the harder, and, looking up, I beg, "Help me, Dad!"
The problem was, my heart was already broken.

Okay, so it wasn't as long as I'd hoped. I'll try to publish a longer one next time.