Alpha Black

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Thursday August 18th, 2016

Some of you know I have a dog. For those who don't, his name is Toby. Toby is a 13 year old german Shepard, Rottweiler, Rhodesian ridgeback, bloodhound mix. We've had him since I was 20 months old. My little sister was around two months old. He was a frail little puppy. Skittish, cautious, wary, frightened by most things, and he was abused. When we got him he was a little more that maybe three months old. His previous owners always kept him in a cage. When he made noises they would throw things at it to shut him up, resulting in him being silent when we got him. He wouldn't make sounds to anything. When he needed to go to the bathroom he would sit at the back door and wait. He often used the bathroom where he slept because he had slept in the cage where he also went to the bathroom since the never let him out. He was fearful of loud noises and was often afraid of men till he got older. Before my father took him, he was found at one of his work sites tied to a tree and with a bowl of rocks since they fed him rocks. It was one of the hottest days so far that summer and he is a black and brown dog. My dad took him and brought him home. Since then he has lived thirteen long and joyful years with us. He has more than a dozen toys. He's had more than ten different dog beds and collars. And he has been with us trough everything. I love him with all my heart but all good things must come to an end.

Five days ago my mom took him to get his shots and nails clipped. The vet noticed how he was walking and how he slowly lays down. She did a few physical tests and the results weren't good. She told us he is in pain. He has arthritis in his spine and front right leg. He has a bone growth in his right elbow and his back left hip is thrown out. Since we don't have a fenced backyard we take him on walks. He has started falling a lot. His back legs will give out and he will collapse and he sometimes struggles to get back up. He is eating lots of grass and as you know dogs eat grass to help them vomit. He whines and cries in pain sometimes and we have started a constant cycle of giving him aspirin to help. The vet told us that he is in pain and that he isn't doing good. That we should think of putting him down now.

He has his times where he is as playful as a puppy and will bounce around the living room like a rabbit with his toys and the pillows off the couch. He's still so alive and happy I don't know if it's really his time. I know it sounds selfish but I don't want to come home from school to find him there having gone through it alone. I don't want him to suffer and I don't want him to spend the rest of his last days alone. I probably won't update for a while. If I do. It's probably because I found some time to update at night or when he is sleeping or my little sister is taking him in a walk. I'm very sorry and I hope you can all relate in someway and understand. He isn't just my pet. He is my family. My brother. He has been with me for as long as I can remember and I can't think or imagine a world without him. This is a tough time for me so please don't ask me to update because then it makes me feel a little pressured. I love all my readers a lot but I don't want to feel pressured about this. Thank you.