long distance » cake

seven

song above is a true work of art, i adore marianas trench! unfortunately i haven't found to many people who like them too... rip 

luke: 

calum has been gone for almost a month now and during that time i've been doing a lot of thinking-- about calum-- and how much i missed him. every single part of him, even the annoying parts. like the way he always woke up so early in the mornings and make so much noise in the kitchen and wake me up too. or how he left his dirty clothes everywhere or how he never did the dishes or when he ate all my cereal. but then there was the times we went grocery shopping together, even though clearly only one of us had to go. how we scheduled all of our classes so we had maximum time to watch james bond movies with each other. i missed how calum burst into song at the most random times (not that i was complaining, he had a lovely voice) and how we'd have jam sessions together. calum on bass and me on guitar, we'd cover blink-182 songs and laugh when we messed up. i miss how we'd have intense games of mario kart and how i usually let calum win because i knew how competitive he was. and i miss how we'd just cuddle on the couch and talk about anything. and really i just missed calum so so much and i knew he probably didn't miss me. 

i watch as the skype connection buffers, finally connecting. calum's face appears on my laptop screen and my face explodes into a smile. one i feel like i haven't worn since calum left. "hey lucas!" calum says brightly. his hair a bit longer with a blonde streak through his fringe. from what i can see he's wearing a blank tank top, hanging loosely off his muscular frame. he looks wow. i try not to stare. "hey cal!" i say waving slightly, "how're things in sunny london?" he chuckles, it's nice to hear his laugh again, the corners of his eyes crinkle when he smiles. "it's pretty good," he explains, "everyone here is so nice, i think i've settled in pretty well, the view from my apartment is amazing!" he gushes and to prove it he lifts his laptop from the table where he was seated and brings it over to the window for me to see. ill admit, it was a pretty great view. you could see the skyline of london, big ben not to far in the distance. you could see the tops of shops and other buildings all standing under a blanket of gray sky.

"that's amazing cal," i say genuinely. he beams at me, returning his computer to the table where he was previously seated. "yeah I don't think i'll ever get sick of that view," he says dreamily, "it gets kinda lonely here though, big apartment with no company..." he trails off.  "wish you were here luke, you'd love england!" he says. i smile, id love wherever you are calum. i want to say it, but i dont. best friend don't say that. "you should get a dog or something," i encourage knowing how much calum loves dogs. "nah, can barely take care of myself!" he says laughing, i laugh too. i miss laughing with calum. "a girlfriend?" i ask, calum raises an eyebrow at me.
"even more work than a dog man," he says, we laugh again. then he continues, "I don't want a relationship right now, kinda wanna concentrate on my job, ya know?" why does that make my heart hurt so much? "things are going so great at the radio station, they're all so friendly and accepting! i even made a friend, his name's michael he's hilarious," calum says, "he's got crazy colored hair, dyes every week practically!" i force a smile, "sounds like a nice guy!"

"yeah he's cool," calum says, "but nobody compares to you," i feel blush creeping onto my cheeks when he says that. i laugh when calum belts out into the one direction song nobody compares, eventually i join in. we're laughing and singing, just like we used to. we talk for a while longer, before calum says he has to go. "bye luke!" he says cheerfully, "talk soon okay?" i smile back, i dont want him to go, "see you later cal." i log out of my computer and set it on my desk and attempt to finish up my homework before i have to leave for work. fifteen minutes in, im ready to call it a day. i grab my wallet and phone and jog to the bus stop to take a bus downtown. 

i have a paid internship at a concert venue downtown, i mostly do lights and sound checks and stuff but i love it anyways. just being on the stage, even when im working, makes me feel at home. surrounded by guitar amps and speakers fills me up with happiness. being here was the only thing that could fill my pit of loneliness with calum gone. i step out of the bus and  follow the familiar sidewalk to the concert venue. i wave hello to marshall the security guard as he lets me through the back doors. he gives me a stiff nod as i pass by. as soon as im through the doors and in the backstage wings (having to bend down a little, the ceilings are low and i unfortunately stand at 6 foot 4 inches).

im greeted by andy my manager and a mysterious muscular dude standing next to him. "heey luke, my man!" i smile and pull him into a brief hug. "hey andy, how're you doing?" i say, trying not to stare at man next to him. ill admit he was very attractive. "m'alright mate," andy says scratching the scruff on his chin, "oh this is jared we just hired him," i turn to the man, jared, who now had a name. "it's nice to meet ya man," i say sticking my hand out to shake. i take him in, he had dark hair slicked back from his face and coffee colored eyes. he was dressed in a plain black muscle tee contrasting against his tanned skin. "nice to meet you too -- luke?" i smile, nodding, taking note of the way he said my name. it rolled off his tongue so easily. "so, luke, would you mind showing jared the ropes today?" andy explains, clearing his throat, "before i give him a permanent assignment." i nod, again, gladly i'll spend some time with this handsome stranger. 

i showed jared around the venue, explaining how things worked and all the tips and tricks ive picked up. it was nice having someone to share the knowledge with. jared was easy to get along with, our conversations flowed so effortlessly and easily. it was great. i learned he was from perth, he just transferred to another university (not mine unfortunately) to study music theory. he got this job because his uncle was the head of the special effects department and was living with him for the time being. we had a lot in common, he like bands like blink and green day and good charlotte, he played guitar for 2 years before he picked up a bass (he's been playing since), he writes his own music and even hopes to become a music producer / song writer after he graduates. i dont remember talking this much in a long time. 

"hey i know we just met and all, but im new to town and i was wondering if you wanted to get drinks sometime?" jared's question snaps me back to reality. a million thoughts are racing through my head at once, did he just ask me out? did he like me? did i like him? "y-yeah id like that," i say nervously, mentally kicking myself for stuttering. "great," jared says, beaming. he hands me his phone for my to type in my number, which i quickly do. 

after i get back home, in the safety of my own apartment, i hear my phone buzz:

unknown number: hey its jared, the dude from work. if ur still up for that date, text me back? 

i feel my cheeks flush red as i save his number and struggle to type back a reply. 

lucifer: yeh i remember u! so about this date... its a date now? 

jayred: if u want it to be then yes

lucifer: is this ur way of asking me out on a date?

jayred: it is only if u accept

lucifer: pick me up on friday at 6?

jayred: lookin forward to it ;D

im smiling like an idiot, how long has it been since ive been on a date? all thoughts of calum have been dispersed from my mind. 

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someone tell me why my writing sucks so much?? i have school again tomorrow, im not ready to face certain ppl. let me rant a bit? so i have this 'thing' with this guy and idk if i like him like that (like i basically want us to just be friends) but he wants a relationship like he freakin' said he loves me?? i really just want us to be friends. and i dont want to tell him that bc at one point i really did like him. someone give me advice? i am so confused?

sorry for talking about my lame life issues, im just one giant mess really. message me if youre willing to listen to me talk about my mess, im willing to let you talk about yours? 

q: what are your future plans?

a: i want to graduate high school and get into a good college. study abroad, have a bunch of one night stands, and drink coffee at 1 am bc i can. i wanna travel and meet a nice guy to settle down with maybe? i just want adventuree! 

thanks so much for reading (i have almost 200 reads and thats not that many but i am so incredibly grateful!) and i  have so so so much for every one of you!