She's Alright

CHAPTER 8

Mars' car smelled like Heineken and new CDs, I plopped into the passenger seat and waited for the car to start. On the dashboard were about 50 CDs of varying genre and some of them were burned by Mars it seemed. He scrambled into the drivers seat, grabbed a random album and shoved it into his enormous, hulking black car stereo. All of a sudden Panic at the Disco's C'mon blared through the speakers and I started to sing along.

Mars chuckled and started to roll down my window, I leaned my head and most of my torso out of the car and felt the wind whipping into me, after a while I could feel a faint sting. Mars tapped my shoulder and beckoned for me to come in. When I did we had just rolled onto the main highway and the cars parked on the sides of the street whipped by in a reddish blue blur.

We turned right onto a side street and took another right, this street didn't look like our street, but Mars was slowing down counting the numbers on buildings.

"Where are we?" I asked a bit confused. Mars must have found the right house because he rolled into a neat driveway leading up to a small house that I didn't recognize.

"This is my real house, that other place is more of a studio." Mars replied. I opened the car door and I noticed several things: the Panic at the Disco song was long over, Mars' car wasn't a car, but a sliver gray Chevy and that I was going to his big fancy house to have sex for the first time in my life. He got out of his side and rushed to mine so as he could help me down.

He fumbled for his keys and jammed them into the fading white door anxious to get inside. My heart was racing with excitement and a little bit of nervousness. This was my first time ever. I was about to give up my virginity. That thought let a whole new wave of thoughts flood through my mind. What if I wasn't good enough for Mars, what if I didn't compare? Because I knew that he has had sex before, there was no doubt in my mind, no matter how anti-social Mars is I could never see myself as his first.

"Where's the bathroom? I want a moment." my voice shook as I asked the question.

"Down the hall to your right, first door," he responded, "when you're done in there the bedroom is across the hall."

I nodded and hurriedly walked down the hall to the bathroom, closing and locking the door I then sank to the white marble floor. I pressed my forehead to the frigid floor, the iciness of the marble helped me clear my mind. I knew that Mars would be my one and only, deep in my heart of hearts I was just to afraid of rejection to even consider this as a course of action. I clutched my stomach and squeezed the fat I could feel on it, I needed to binge again now. I have to I can't have him seeing me fat. Mars will think I'm disgusting and he'll be repulsed by me.

"You ok in there?" came his voice across the hall. I let out a quick yes and then scrambled across the tile to the toilet bowl.

Shoving my index and middle fingers down my throat repeatedly I waited for the bile to come up. It soon rose and the acid from my puke left my mouth feeling like all my teeth had just been turned into styraphome that was now rubbing together in my mouth. I proceeded to stick my fingers in my throat a few more times and then looked down at the chunky orange- red mess that was in the toilet. I flushed the toilet and looked for the toothpaste and an extra toothbrush which I unpackaged, then brushed the awful taste and sensation in my mouth away.

"Ready." I said walking into his room where he lay with nothing but his gray boxers. I gave him a once-over as I undressed down to my bra and panties, he had rock hard abs with a few freckles spotted here and there over his stomach, he was tanner than I realized as I looked at his short line to his stomach, and he had a few burn scars on his legs. I was finally undressed and I made my way over to the bed.

He slid off his boxers and I took of my panties and bra, immediately like there was a switch we were on each other kissing and touching. Mars seemed to know everything, where to push harder, how to make me grip the soft cotton sheets for support. He was gentle with me, caring, concerned, and watchful he understood what this meant for me.

Kissing me he cradled my body to his and we gave one last triumphant go at what seemed to be all night. We slipped back into our undergarments and I fell asleep cradled in his arms, for once in a long time not even thinking of my life back in home or my weight. I was simply me.