((AN: pictures of Josh sleeping are all I need in my life is))
I missed Ohio. I wanted to sit on the balcony and be cold, not hot. Theres something comforting about being cold when you're sad. I kept replaying the fight in my head. Each time, it hurt worse and worse.
I'm so stupid.
Behind me, I heard a knock on the sliding glass door. Part of me hoped it was Josh. The sliding door squeeked as it was moved open. Tyler sat down in the chair next to me. I didn't even look at him, I pulled my knees to my chest and stared at the horizon.
"Kyndall, are you okay?" Tyler asked when a sincere tone. I let out a quiet sigh.
"Listen, neither of you is wrong or right. There's a much bigger issue here." Tyler interlocked his fingers and put them in his lap. He waited for me to speak, but I didn't.
"Kyndall, you guys need to talk about this. You're in danger and we've got a lot going on right now." Tyler said.
I wanted to scream, I was so frustrated. Instead, I started to feel tears falling down my cheeks in a silent cry. Tyler noticed.
"I feel horrible." I said quietly.
"Don't, you were both upset."
"Tyler, I told him I loved him, then I took it back. That's really bad." I sighed, wiping away some of my tears.
"I know, he told me. He understands."
"He does?"
"Please talk to him." Tyler gave me the same puppy-dog look that Josh always gave me. I just shook my head and sighed.
Jenna and I shared a room that night.
--
We were riding the bus to New Mexico, a very long drive. Everything leading up to getting on the bus had been extremely awkward. I couldn't even look at Josh, I felt so bad. As soon as we were all settled on the bus, I crawled into my bed slot and slid the curtain shut, isolating myself. I didn't want to talk to anyone. I heard the rings of the solo curtain below my slide open, then close again. Josh was in there. I wanted to cry.
"Kyndall?" I heard a knock on the side of the wall. It was Jenna.
"Hm?" I hummed.
"Let me crawl in with you." She said.
"No thanks." I mumbled.
"I'm coming in." She slid the curtain, then pushed herself in and lied next to me in the small space.
"Can anyone here us?" I whispered.
"Not if we whisper." Jenna replied. She was playing with a rubber band in her hand as she lied on her back and look at the top of the slot.
"How to you feel?" Jenna asked. I sighed and put a hand over my eyes.
"Horrible, Jenna."
"You need to make up. Talk about it. We all gotta get this sorted out." She sounded so much like Tyler.
"Why are you and Tyler getting involved?" I asked.
"We care about you guys, a lot." She accidentally shot the rubber band up at the ceiling. I felt it land on my thigh as my phone buzzed.
Unknown number: aw, your poor boyfriend. See you in NM
Seeing those text messages again made my chest burn. I felt myself starting to cry as Jenna tilted my phone towards her. She heard me sniffle.
