The Eye of the Beholder /Phan>•</

The Blue Past

"My parents are dead." I say. My words are shaky. How do I tell my crush about one of the darkest parts of me?

Phil's reaction wasn't the one I was expecting. It was nothing like the ones at the funeral. Those were so sympathetic. This was...something.

Phil brought me into a hug. It wasn't a pity hug either. It was protective. I felt safe, here, in this hug.

"How can you possibly live after something like that?" He whispered into my neck.

"They died when I was eleven. Honestly, it was hard at first. But memories fade." I replied.

"How?" he asked me.

"It was dark, we were baking a cake for my birthday. They had woken me up at the crack of dawn to do it. It was dark, then suddenly, it was light. We tried to put it out, but we couldn't. Dad was calling nine one one, Mum was trying to find the extinguisher. I ran outside, leaving the door open. and when I looked back, I saw fire in the windows. And then I saw my mum's arm on the living room floor. I could barely even tell it was hers. It looked the colour of a volcano. I heard the sirens, but it was too late. Even at eleven, I knew that." Tears entered my eyes at the memory. I had never said it out loud before. As I wiped them, I saw their fresh, light blue colour. They had been gray at the funeral. I cried into Phil's shoulder. He just sat there, arms wrapped around me, protecting me from the outside world.

"Three days later they put me in the system. I was stuck with an abusive father and a drunk mother." I continued. "A week after I had arrived I had realized I needed a way out. So I went got the job at the library. I ran away, lived on the streets for four years. I found a box in an unused alley, dug through people's trash when they went to work. Finally, a few weeks after I had turned fifteen. I had done enough of work, shelving books and mopping floors, to buy this house. I never spoke to anyone in person, a kid isn't allowed to buy a house. I sold half the furniture, keeping only what j had to. The basement is moldy, the fridge turns off, the stairs creak, the doors don't close. I got it pretty cheap." I took a breath. "I've been working ever since. I even had a lemonade stand every once in a while, to save up for times like these. In case I ever had a high bill, or a few extra groceries." "Luckily, the school just kinda figured I was poor and payed for most of those bills and gave me a grilled cheese sandwich everyday." Somehow the words just flowed. I didn't think they would. I had thought it would be hard to talk about this, but it wasn't. With Phil, I never ran out of words. He just nodded along, hugged me, held me tight, calling me brave.

"Dan?" He said, when I hadn't spoken for a while.

"yeah?" I answered.

"I'm really glad you aren't with them."