the beautiful dead

disclosure

krista

The days went on swiftly after that morning Frost took me out.

     Yes, I'd changed my mind. Upon noticing that he was a vampire, my whole opinion of him altered, even the use of his name. Penn had been his human name, but he wasn't in that era anymore. Now, he was here with me, immortal and protective. His name was Frost.

     At first, I regretted showing him my burns, but he told me he'd suspected it. I made no attempt to grill him and he was thankful.

     There were times I even let him take off my gloves for me, just to ensure that it wasn't an illusion. We'd see each other after classes had finished and hibernate for the rest of the day in his room. He didn't ever ask me questions... he was happy to wait.

     I smiled thinking about him, taking a break from writing in my diary. I'd memorized his face in memory, letting it comfort me whenever I was stressed or in possible danger from everybody else. His face was always there, at the back of my head, like a photograph stamped or pinned to my brain.

     That just got me thinking other thoughts. Why did he handle me like I was fragile? He made me sometimes think he thought I was a bomb just about to explode. He was so careful, knowing there were certain things he could say and others he wouldn't dare. I wondered what it was he couldn't tell me lately.

     I mean, a lot of the time he looked like he was about to say something but then... nothing. I didn't know what it was, but it was seriously getting on my nerves guessing all the time. If I saw him today, then I was going to demand it from him. He had no right to keep me in the dark like this, not after all that we'd shared.

     I could feel my cheeks flaming as I thought about what we'd spilled.

     He let me in on his biggest secret (maybe not for the rest of the students in this building, he told them when he first enrolled), providing me with rational answers and more than I could've asked for. And so... I had to tell him about me.

     After we exchanged our secrets and our insecurities, I felt like we'd gotten closer, if that was possible. We weren't friends, we were more than that. The term BFF sounded so lame, it couldn't compare to our relationship.

     It was no surprise to know that I worshipped him. The ground he walked on, the fact that he existed, that he liked me back.

     As I grinned harder, I realized then: I had it deep for him. The thing is, he could never know, otherwise I knew I wouldn't hear the end of it. He liked to keep things as they'd started out, he was still determined in naming me Lily even though I had dropped Penn.

     There was a small rap on the door. I jumped up from the bed, eager to see him waiting for me. I glanced in the mirror and fluffed up my hair to give it volume. I even checked to see if my make-up still made me look even slightly presentable.

     It had been a waste of effort, the person behind the door wasn't Frost at all.

     It was Brad.

     He gave me one of his spellbinding smiles, although we hadn't seen each other for what felt like weeks. How long had it been, really? I was sure the last time we'd exchanged conversation had been before our kiss. I mean, I saw him in Horticulture, but it wasn't the same, we never spoke.

     "Hi there." He said as he stepped inside and pulled me in for a hug.

     For a second, I cringed. Frost and I never hugged. Ever since Rodriguez had touched me, I never trusted anyone to get close. Marisol was upset, she didn't like my new anti-social and reserved behavior. Sunday was suspicious too, but I had a feeling she and Violet knew. My roommate was forever looking at me like I'd come from a different planet.