Build Me Up, Hold Me Down

Change is coming!

Continued from them being in the bed in ch.6

Dominic's POV:

It's a fucked up feeling when you have to live your days knowing that at any moment shit can just up and change.

It was 12am and Nischia was still laid in my arms sleep. I had woke up because a nigga wasn't use to sleeping nomore than 3 or 4 hours so I just laid in the bed thinking.

As I came to realize, I wasn't mad about me going to jail because jail was something I had been in and out of my whole life.

They make jail for niggas like me because they through a nigga right in jail as soon as he gets in trouble with the law. The government would rather see you behind bars than behind a desk and that's real talk.

I was only mad about leaving my shawty because it's like Everytime shit starts to go well for me, The feds find away to take away my happiness and ever since my brother killed himself, I ain't been happy in a long time and I thought I never would be until I met her.

~~~

Nischia is my happiness, She's like my drug because she helps me forget. She helps me forget about the images of lifeless bodies that came from me, she helps me forget about the gun shots I hear every night and she helps me forget about the pain I felt when I found out I was the last person my brother talked to before he died. 

Nischia fills a viod that has been empty for a while now because I said that I would never be that free with my heart anymore just to have that pain submerge again. I didn't want to love and sacrifice everything just to wake up and see nothing and I didn't want to be a cold hearted demon but how do you stop that?

How do you stop yourself from causing someone else pain when pain is the only thing your feeling? How do you have mercy on someone else's soul when the weight of the world is on yours? How do you stop the voices from screaming stop when wasn't Noone there to stop the woman from aborting her baby, wasn't Noone there to stop the crackhead from shooting up, wasn't Noone there to stop the man who was abusing his wife because he was drunk and wasn't noone there to stop my brother from taking away his own life.

Everyone always wants to point fingers but where was everyone At when the bad was fuckin the shit out of the good? I know yall thinkin a nigga crazy or that I need some help but I just seen a lot of shit in my 22 years of living.

You can't pretend to be from this life because this life could eat you alive. you gotta know your way out in this world and though I wasn't getting out completely because DC would forever be apart of me, I had my escape and my escape was in Nischia.

~~~

I looked over at the clock on the nightstand and it was 1:30am now, I must have been in real deep thought because I didn't realize Nischia was up now. She was sitting in the bed watching that Bad Girls shit.

"You okay baby?" she asked with her eyes still glued to the television but she was bout to be mad because I was bout to turn this shit.

"Yea I'm good boo, where the remote at?" I asked looking over her trying to find where it was.

"Babe no, I'm watching this plus you wasn't even thinking about the tv"

"Man why do you watch this shit anyway, you can't even fight wit your sucka ass" I said after I gave up looking for the remote

"Shut the fuck up, You don't know what I can do" she said while punching me in my arm and that shit did have a little sting to it.

Tackling her, I pinned her arms behind her head. "Who you talkin to like that?" I asked while biting her on her neck