"We asked for the hero, Rob Roy, or we'll lay your planet waste like we did your research stations. Where is the hero?"
It would've been more impressive if the whole booming speech wasn't delivered by the Neptunian leader's electronic voice translator. It bleated like a sheep at this volume.
"We brought you the hero, through time and space, to stand before you. Robert Roy MacGregor, Red MacGregor, the Scottish Robin Hood!" I shouted.
"I hope you know what you're doing, Peter," Rob remarked as he marched forward to meet the massed aliens. He struck a pose with his legs wide. "I'm Red MacGregor. What do you want with me?" he thundered, drawing his sword.
For an old man, he did have an impressive voice.
"We want…Red Macgregor's…spn…" the Neptunian slurred.
"My WHAT?" MacGregor roared. "You want my sporran?"
"What's a sporran?" I asked Meg.
She pointed down. I crossed my legs in sympathy.
"Okay then, provided HE," a shaky finger pointed squarely at me, "buys me a new one when I get home."
I stood there, dumbfounded. Even with today's technology, there were some body parts you just couldn't replace.
Rob took off his smelly, hairy pouch and handed it to the Neptunian leader, who took it gingerly in one gloved hand.
"We have what we came here for. Earth is safe…for now," the Neptunian stated, waving his troops back into their ship.
I breathed a sigh of relief as I watched them go. I hoped Rob knew where I could buy him a new hairy purse.
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