Sisters Three (Completed)

31. Morna

Morna could tell the maid thought she should pull herself to together by now, but somehow she couldn't bring herself to care about the maid's mixture of pity and disgust whenever she came to her room and found Morna still submerged in the stone cold tub.

The tub was the only place that the chaos of her mind would calm to a steady buzz. Outside of it, she only heard whispers and screams and the constant call of the water, and with that her mind strayed to the red of Afton's shirt and the way he had been so utterly still. A constant barrage of memories she could not handle beset her when she was dry, so she sought to always stay wet. The tub accomplished that.

As her skin grew wrinkled, she imagined the water soaking through it and into her very bones and blood. She fought the urge to submerge her head, to end the suffering right there, but something stopped her. A flash of Brenna's face, the faded memory of family from the before times. Their faint faces in her mind kept her from depriving her lungs of air, yet she still soaked in the water through her skin.

The creak of her bedroom door opening broke her from her reverie and she pulled her attention to the present with an almost visible heave. Her eyes slowly trailed to where the plump maid hired from the village to take care of her bustled over to the bed and clucked her tongue when she saw that, once again, it had not been slept in.

"Again, madam? You'll catch a fever sitting in that chilly water all night," the maid said, sighing.

Morna didn't answer, and the maid didn't seem to mind. She crossed to the low seat where a black dress lay draped over the armrests. The maid fingered the hem and glanced in Morna's direction.

"I don't suppose you'll let me put this away now, will you?"

Morna sank to her lips in the water and slowly shook her head no. The maid fought another sigh.

"As you wish, madam. I only thought it might be a reminder of dreadful memories that you'd rather see put away."

Oh, how Morna wished she could lock it away. The dress had sat there for a month, untouched since she'd desperately shed it on the return from that hellish funeral. A funeral without a body.

The maid, seeing that this conversation was not going well, quickly changed the topic. "Master Robbin set out yesterday to meet the Grellan mercenaries," she said, bustling to the bureau and folding underthings that were still pristinely arranged from the last time she'd been in the room. "They'll be off to fight Revours out in the western countryside as soon as peas, and then we could very well be living in a kingdom once again! Ah, I can't wait for a king to be back on the throne. 'Tisn't right that it sits empty."

Morna raised her lips from the water. "Robbin left to fight?"

The maid turned around with eyebrows raised and hands on hips. "Well, if it isn't the voice of our dear Lady Glenfarrow! A sound for sore ears, I must say! Yes, the new Lord Glenfarrow has taken the battle into his own hands and intends to end the fighting once and for all with this final advance. I'd say he has a wonderful chance with those Grellan mercenaries on his side."

"He's going to go back on his word to the Grellan Queen, then?" Morna asked, straightening in her tub. Afton hadn't liked the plan to lie to Grella, and Morna hadn't either. Even if Grella never retaliated, it left a sour taste in the mouths of all Anjeluund's allies, and they didn't need that coming out of a war.

The maid shrugged. "Blessed if I know, dear. Only know that a herd of new troops are going to help us defeat Revours and send him back to the fiery furnace that he came from."

"I'm coming out," Morna said.

The maid's eyes lit up, and she practically raced to the wardrobe to fetch a dress. Morna rose from the water and dried off with a cloth towel. Her hair still dripped, but she didn't care. The maid gave her a sidelong look for it, but didn't comment as she laid out the plain black dress she'd brought from the wardrobe.

The dress looked the same as all her dresses after the black dye bath all the Glenfarrow clothing had been dunked into on the day after Afton's death. Morna knew Brenna hated it, but she herself was grateful to not have to decide about what to wear when she didn't even want to decide whether to breathe or not.

The maid buttoned her into the dress and then put her hair up in the simplest of styles. When she finished, she took a step back and folded her hands in front of her. Her eyes glinted and Morna had the feeling that she was about to regret making the step out of the tub.

"Now you've seen fit to get dressed, why can't the next step be to have a nice breakfast?" the maid asked.

Morna closed her eyes, trying to build an appetite where she wasn't sure one would ever be again. However, she knew no one in Glenfarrow House would leave her alone until they knew she was back to eating regular meals. So, she'd take care of two problems in one go. Her maid would be happy that she got her charge to eat, and Brenna would be content knowing that Morna was finally making progress.

"I'll eat with my sister. She still takes her meals in her room, correct?" Morna asked.

The maid raised her eyebrows and nodded her head. "Indeed. I'll take you there now," she said.

As the door opened and they exited into the hallway, Morna fell back a few steps so that the maid drew ahead.

Morna was far from ready to move on, but she knew the time had come to at least pretend she was. The simple fact was that she could not exist in her own small world, lost to the water and trying to fight away the memories of blood and a slowing heart. She need to be strong and forge ahead. Hopefully, the more she pretended she was fine, the more she'd might believe it herself.