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Chapter 32: Don't Fall Asleep At The Helm

Okay The last chapter was private, this is what happens after the sex scene so here is the RECAP OF LAST CHAPTER, this is the ONLY important factor you missed, it will be in italics. So here it is:

That night, I was disturbed by the bed thrashing.

I frowned and thought Raphael was just having a little fun with himself but then I heard a distraught groan.
"Get away from her."
Raphael mumbled in a low groan.
My body was still asleep and I could only hear Raphael.

"I said get the hell away from her!" He says louder and suddenly I feel hands hitting me in my back.

Feet kicking me away.
"Stop leave her alone!" He shouts and I sit up and turn on the light.

"Raphael! Wake up!" I yell and begin, shaking him.
His eyes open suddenly, and he falls off of the bed, he was covered with sweat and his eyes were wild, and vigilant.

"Oh God, did-did I hu-hurt you?" He stutters and I sit up to look in his eyes.

"So this is why you can't sleep next to anyone. You have night terrors."





He looked instantly ashamed, putting his head down, his chest raising heavily and quickly.

"Why didn't you tell me, you had night terrors?" I ask and he swallows hard, wiping the sweat off of his forehead.
"How could I?" He says with a nervous shrug and I crawl towards the edge of the bed and pull him back up.

"Did you think I would judge you?" I ask and he bites the corners of his lip.

"I don't know." He mumbles.

"So this happens every night?" I ask and he nods.
"Once every blue moon, I can sleep peacefully." He says and I feel tears at the corner of my eyes.

I genially felt like this was my fault.

"You don't take medicine for it?" I ask and he shakes his head.
"It's no use. It's because of the traumatic experiences, I had as a child." He says slowly and I rub his bare shoulder.

"Raphael-" but he stops me, mid sentence.

"Please don't say anything. I already know." He whispers and I kiss his shoulder.

"You haven't truly forgiven me yet, you know that right?" I whisper and he slowly looks at me, his eyes bloodshot.

"You haven't forgiven the rest of my family. You haven't forgiven your father. Most importantly, you haven't forgiven yourself." I whisper and he lays back.

"Once you do. I guarantee you'll be able to sleep." I say with a slow smile and he rubs my back.

"I just wish I knew how." He says simply.

"So do I. Then maybe we can figure it out together." I say and smile.

"Just don't...please don't hurt me again."

Those words pierce right through me, causing tears to slip out my eyes.

"I promise." I whisper and kiss his lips softly.


Raphael moved and slept on the couch in my room that night.

But I was wide awake watching him, he insisted it only happened once but I couldn't help it.


My family and I traumatized him that much that he had night terrors, even as an adult.

He couldn't sleep.
But it wasn't just our fault...it was his fathers as well.

I laid down and cuddled up to my pillow, in a way, we could never be together.
Then I fell into a quite uncomfortable slumber.


The next morning, I woke up at 6 AM, my mid wouldn't let me stay asleep.

I looked over at the resting Raphael, he looked content and I smiled to myself.

I walked down the stairs and into the kitchen where I saw Damon and Aaron.

"Morning guys." I say and go reach for a pan.

"Morning you little minx." Damon says with a wink and I blush red.

"And I thought we were loud." Aaron adds, as he takes a sip of his coffee.

"Oh hush." I whisper and grab the carton of eggs.

"Where is pretty boy anyways?" Damon asks and I point upstairs.

"Well, we're going out for the day. Do you want anything while we're out?" Aaron asks me.

"No thanks." I assure and grab the rest of my ingredients.

"How are you feeling?" Damon's question catches me off guard so as usual, I just shrug.

"Are you taking your medicine?" He asks and I groan.

Oops.

"No." I admit and he gives me a fatherly look.

"Aries. Your stress." He reminds and I inhale shakily.
"I know. I will today." I promise and begin making scrambled eggs and toast.

"Be good and use protection so we won't have another scare." He warns and I hear the front door close.

I love that he as so protective sometimes. He as beginning to act like his old self.

I hear movement upstairs and I feel the butterflies in my stomach begin to swarm viciously.

I hear sniffling and turn around and see Raphael walk in.

He's wearing jeans from last night with no shirt, his brown hair wild across his face.
His brown eyes were dilated and surprisingly, he looked rested.

"How'd you sleep?" I ask nervously and he walks up behind me and kisses my neck.

"I'm more worried about you." He whispers into my ear, sending my body in a frenzy.

"I'm fine." I mumble and hand him his plate of food.

"Breakfast after sex? This would be the first." He says with a satisfied smirk.

"You deserved it champ." I mumble and he takes a bite of his eyes and his eyes widen, "And it actually taste scrumptious. This is a surprise." He says with a playful wink.

"I can actually cook." I say with an effortless smile.

"I can dance, cook and I've got the mysterious looks, the whole damn package." I add, turning my head up.

"And you give head pretty damn good too." He says and I gape at him, shoving his shoulder, causing him to chuckle.

"Plus you've got any amazing personality. Which is just the cherry on top." He adds and kisses the tip of my nose.

I smile sweetly and move to sit by the island, pulling up a high chair while he sat next to me.

"Have you talked to Golden Girl?" I ask and reach over for my glass of Orange Juice.

"Golden Girl? Clever name and no. Just my mother."
This was a first, he ever brought up his mother, which surprised me even more.

"How is she?" I ask slowly.

"Infuriated. Apparently Brooke confided in her, so she's coming here this afternoon." He says, cringing.
"Here? As in...here...here?" I ask, pointing down to indicate he as talking about this house.

He slowly nods and my eyes widen, "So what? Brooke told her, you were having some affair with some slut?" I ask.

"Not technically. She had the decency to include your occupation." He defends.

"A stripper." I say pursing my lips, like that was any better.

The two basically went hand in hand.

"What does she want?" I quickly add, rubbing my forehead in annoyance.

"To meet you. Wants to figure out-"
"What my deal is." I say and roll my eyes.
Great, my first impression was already destroyed but once she realized who I was...that will really go down hill.

"Don't act too discouraged. My mom isn't judgmental." He says.

Easy for him to say.



We prepared for his mothers arrival by cleaning up the living room and lighting her favorite scented candles.

I didn't dress up or anything, just jeans a Diamond Co sweatshirt.

I debated whether to wear my wig or not because I didn't want her to Notice me and then again I did.

Maybe if she got to know who I was and liked me, then I could explain to her my true identity.

But that would be some form of manipulation.


The doorbell rang at 1:20 PM.

My heart began racing, the same rush I got right before I went on stage, except this was negative.

Don't give yourself, high expectations for her to like you M.

Raphael opened the door and a short blonde woman stood, in a light blue dress.

Becca Underwood.

Instant memories flooded my mind of her.
My mother loathed her.

"Hey ma," Raphael says, embracing his mother and kissing her cheek.
"Hey there Ralph. How's my baby boy doing?" She asks and smiles gingerly at her son.

Age really became her and she was aging gracefully.

She walked in slowly and turned to me, slowly turning her head to the side but her expression was still gentle.
"It's a pleasure to meet you Ms. Underwood. I'm-" but she stops me with her hand.
"I already know. It's nice to see you again Rose." She says and to my surprise.

She actually smiles.

She walks up to me and throws her arms around me, embracing me tightly.

"You know?" I whisper and she pulls back and nods.
Raphael looks just as surprised as I am.

"The way Brooklyn described you. How have you been?" She asks me kindly.

I'm still in shock she was okay with me.

"I've been better. And yourself?" I reply and she sighs and I lea her towards the living room to sit.

"Things aren't doing well. I know what kind of girl Brooke is but none of this adds up. Why is your family back?" She asks me.

Brooke was a little to close with Becca.

"I don't know but you know of her relation to Cameron?" I question and she nods.

"He gave my husband such a hassle. And after she died..." She pauses and I look over at Raphael who has a torn expression.

"After my daughter was killed an my husband died, that's when Brooke came along."

But why would he have Raphael marry Brooke if she had known before?
And in a sense, she still spoke highly of her deceased husband.

"Ma, but dad killed her." Raphael points out and I look away for a moment.

Memories, I thought I had forgotten, rushed back to me.

When Raphael told me about the death of his sister...I forgot all about it.

My eyes closed and I felt myself shudder.

"It's my fault." I whisper.
"What?" Becca whispered.

It was all coming back to now.

"That night. Your husband..he...he came to my house. Keegan was saying something about my plan to run away. They wanted to keep me here and would do anything. My only purpose to be good...to stay good.
They said they had to kill her. Raphael, you already know." I say and feel tears at my eyes.

"What are you talking about?" Raphael asks.

"Miranda is your sister. I'm the reason she's dead.
~*~*
All of the titles of the chapters are songs.

This song Don't Fall Asleep At The Helm by Sleeping With Sirens is my favorite and I'm starting to add the music at the side if you're in a computer.

I'm in a pretty bad mood so I may even update again.

You know what to do.

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