Come What May

Chapter 18

As the school year was nearing an end, Santana had been debating whether she wanted to go to college or not. She had thought she wanted to, but now she wasn't so sure.
Maybe she should stay with Nicholas and go to school when he was older. It would be a lot easier for her. By the time he was older, she could go to any city she wanted and attend a school wherever she wanted.
She meet up with her friends. She knew that Quinn wanted out of Lima and that Rachel and Kurt were heading to New York after graduation.
"Q, have you applied for anything yet?"
"Yeah. I've applied to UCLA, USC, Stanford, Harvard, Yale and I'm still filling a few out."
"What about you, Rachel?"
"It's all about NYADA. If I don't get in then I don't know what I'm going to do."
"Mercedes?"
"I'm heading to LA. I'm trying to land a record deal."
"Mike?"
"I've applied to a few schools. Penn State, Standford, Brown."
"What about you, San?" Brittany asked.
"I'm still a bit iffy about college. I mean, Nicholas is still small and how am I going to manage all alone in a different state? I'm just not sure." She sighed.
"You'll make a decision. In the end, only you know what's best for you." Quinn said.
She went home that evening and asked her mother for help.
"Mama, can you help me with something?"
"Sure, what is it?"
"I'm not sure whether I want to go to college or not. I was thinking maybe after Nicholas is older."
"Santana, you are going to college. I will not allow for you to work with your back and not your brain. Your abuela came here to give us a better chance at life and now we're trying to give you an even bigger advantage than your father and I had."
"Some advantage." Santana snorted. "Papa is a doctor and you're a successful interior designer. I can't live up to that."
"Okay, so maybe you don't want to be a doctor, but you can do so many other things. It doesn't matter what we did and what achievements we have. All that matters is that you create your own success."
"But what if I can't do it?"
"That's what we're here for Santana. To support you and to help you find your place. You don't have to go through this alone, okay?"
"Okay." Santana nodded.
She began to fill out her applications. She applied to the school she wanted to attend. USC, Cal State LA, UC Santa Barbara, Cal Poly Pomona, NYU and finally, the University that was 30 minutes away from Lima.  She just hoped one would take her.
She had to do something with herself. She couldn't imagine herself being a waitress or a maid for the rest of her life. They made so little money. She couldn't support her son with what they earned for a living.
She still didn't know what she wanted to major in. She had many things running through her head. She knew she would decided when she was sure what she wanted.
She looked over at Nicholas who was biting the ear of a stuffed animal. All her choices were for him. Every choice she made was for him. He was dependent on her and if she screwed up she would screw him over as well. That's why she had to think all her decision and make sure it was the best. Her decision didn't affect only her anymore. They affected her son as well and she knew it wasn't fair for him to suffer for her mistakes.
"Mami up!" She held him in her arms. He was her first priority and he came before anyone.
"I promise, Nic. One day, you'll be proud of me. I'm going to make you so damn proud of me." She whispered. She kissed the top of his head. Nicholas smiled and kissed her cheek. "Can you say love you, Mami?"
"Wuv Mami."
"Good enough. I love you too."