Jem of the King

Chapter 6 - Heart and Head

                 

-1535-

I sat trying to read a book underneath the tree. I flipped the page and sighed. My thought were running away with me. Ever since I was summoned with haste to his majesty and saw how comfortable he was around me. I felt something stir within me and such thoughts enter my mind, it made my heart confused.

"A penny for your thoughts" I looked up and saw my Uncle loom over me.

"It's nothing, Uncle." I shook my head and he sighed sitting down.

"I remember all those years ago when you visited with your parents for the last time.  You were full of life, always running and laughing." I smiled. "I regret not seeing you, being there for you, taking care for you." he made me look at him.

"But I am here now, do not shut me out...please." I leaned my head on his shoulder and watched as Edward and Henry play.

"I am confused. I find defences I put up long ago begin to crack and I am afraid they might break and crumble. I hope myself finding love, but I came to terms that I would have no luck. There is a war inside my head and I do not know which to pick."

"What is there a war about."

"What is right for a lady of my age against my new and rekindled want." I stood up and started pacing. "On one side, my head is telling me that I am of respectable age to marry someone of your choosing. Be a dutiful niece and do what you bid, be unhappy with someone not of my choice. Let the male dominate." I stopped and lifted up my left hand.

"Then there is my heart. What I so desired since I was little. Continue to fight for what I want and not become complacent and be walked all over. Be treated as an equal, have love, loyalty, trust, respect from a husband. Thoughts a woman like me should not have. I have always been encourage of the latter but slowly as I age and turn down many more suitors , I feared I would have to finally comply to everything I am against."

"I sense a bit." I smiled a little

"Yes there is one. But very recently my heart has come back with a burning passion and it wishes to rule my head not only with want for once I fought for but something else, something that goes against things I'm held respectable for that i thought i would never bend for. It's those walls that I fear will break."

(quick a/n if you have no idea what's going on after that long explanation here a quick sum up Head saying give in with stupid ideas of a love match and ask Charles to marry you off vs Heart wait for the one and be happy forever and ever + Loosen up a bit a let him in, this could be your chance.)

"What is the something else." I cover my face and heave myself back down.

"Lottie, you've come so far." I turn on the blanket to face him.

"I have found myself having feelings for someone I know I cannot have for many reasons. While I will never go so willingly with delicate matters."

"You have me confused" I groan in frustration.

"I like the King" I distress "And not just as a friend, I am in no way saying that I want to become a mistress but I'm having to admit I like being in his presence alone, seeing how human he can be. And no matter how much I try to remain somewhat distant not only in rank but in other thing. I feel myself not wanting to. It scares me so much that things I pride myself in not getting to close to a married man, not being alone with anyone who is attached, being cautious as to not start any rumours which could be harmful to the family and soon." I started crying

"I'm just so confused, everything is not simple anymore and I'm scared so scared that  I'm losing my beliefs and falling for a man I cannot have."

"You are falling for his majesty?"

"I'm sorry, I did not mean to."

"Hey, I'm not angry with you. I do not think I could ever be." he comforts me and kisses my head

"I see a different side which I do not think even the Queen has seen. I have seen Henry Tudor."

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-3rd Person-

It had been a fortnight that Charlotte had remained away from court and Henry was getting restless. It was most surprising. Charles had seen how his friend became agitated, he was changing and it was uncertain if it was for the better. Henry had asked his friend on the whereabouts of his niece. Charles simply reply that feeling a bit under the weather, and missing what she used once to call home.

It was during the wedding of his brother in law George to Jane Parker he decided that he simply had to go, he would not and could not waste time in summoning her to court. From the reception Anne watched her husband mounting his horse and riding off. She imagined the worse and though he was going to his 'harem.' Henry rode on with speed and he finally arrived a Brandon manor.

"Is the Lady Charlotte in?" he questioned

"Yes, you majesty."

"Go get her then" he dismounted as the page went to find his mistress.

"My lady." the page panted as he found Charlotte in the library.

"Yes."

"His majesty is here to see you." a lump caught in her throat. She knew she could not hide forever. Her heart had been winning as she tried to resolve the war her walls were crumbling but she had to stay strong. She would not show or admit out loud she had fell for a married man and her sovereign.

"Thank you, I will be there shortly." the page left and she sighed

"Now or never." Charlotte stood and left the library. There in the entrance hall he stood.

"Your majesty." she curtsied. He swung himself round and froze she was in one of her normal court or day dresses. No, Charlotte had opted for simple slimming dark turquoise gown that showed off her beauty but covered up her modestly. (external link)

"Lady Charlotte" she rose and slowly walked down the steps. To her it was a way of slowing the inevitable to him it sang like a sirens call. Her hair pooled in a golden main past her chest and her enticing green eyes called to him. He was hooked.

"Is something the matter?"

"Should I not be asking you that. You've been away from court."

"Yes I know, my apologies. My head became very busy and I wished for it to be cleared."

"Charles said you were under the weather."

"Not that kind, you majesty" she now faced him

"So you are well?"

"Yes, your majesty"

"Good, then that means you can attend the performance tomorrow."

"Performance you majesty?"

"Yes, there is to be a play."

"Of course I shall not miss it"

"Good." he made her look up and into his eyes and her breath became heavy. Even though she tried to bury her seeping feeling Henry was very smart and saw a glimpse, he wanted to act but then everything he worked for and that was something in the eyes of a woman. Would be gone. She cleared her throat.

"Are you hungry my lord, I believe there setting up luncheon in the garden."

"Famished. lead the way...Lottie" he smiled a little and she lead him away.