The Tide - Completed

Part 33b/Part 34

And the Drama continues...

Part 34

***

Why? Why? Why?

“What?” I reply dumbly. I’m speechless; I cannot believe what Lance just said. Did he really say that?

“You heard me, Jamie,” he replies softly. “I love you. I always have. You may not believe me but it’s true. I want you back in my life as my girlfriend. I want you to give us a second chance.”

“B-but Lance,” I stutter. “W-why now? Why are you telling me this now?”

“I’ve been meaning to tell you for a while now,” he replies. “I’ve been too scared to tell you, though. Then you and Tommy started dating and that blew my chances completely.”

“Tommy and I are still together, though,” I point out. “What made you change your mind about your chances?”

“Look, Jamie,” Lance says, sighing. “I haven’t got a well-thought out plan. I didn’t tell you this in hopes that you would take me back immediately and break up with Tommy. No. To be honest, I don’t know what I was expecting. I want you back but that doesn’t mean I’m going to take extreme measures just to make sure that we get back together. All I’m going to ask of you is to think about it. Think about whether you can give us another shot or not. If you do give us another chance, I promise that I will not let go of you until you want me to. Whether you take me back or not, is entirely up to you. I will respect your decision, whatever it may be. I just wanted to let you know how I feel.”

I open my mouth to respond but Lance puts his finger on my lips. He leans in and kisses me lightly. He pulls away before I can react. My insides have tightened again. This isn’t good. He smiles slightly.

“I’ll see you later,” he says. “Tell me when you’ve made your decision.”

He waves at me and starts to walk away. I wave at him stupidly, watching him go back to the party. I put my hand down and look at the grass. I sit down and look up at the sky. I don’t think I can go back to the party right now; I feel nauseous. My head is spinning and I feel a little breathless. First Jay, now Lance. What am I supposed to do now? I shake my head furiously and groan. I don’t know what to do. I thought Lance and I had buried that past of ours. Now...right now, I don’t know how I feel. My heart is confused. I think I still have feelings for Lance. When he kissed me, my heart jumped a few times and I felt all warm and fuzzy. That must mean I have feelings for Lance, right? I can’t tell Lance that I have feelings for him, though. I’ve got to sort out my Tommy and Jay situations too. This is so messed up! I hope this is rock bottom because I don’t think I can handle any more drama.

 “Jamie, we need to talk.” I turn around and look up. It’s Tommy. I groan inwardly and stand up. It looks like things are about to get worse. I sigh and turn around and face him.

“What’s up?” I ask him, bracing myself.

He sighs and looks at me sadly.

“Jamie, what’s going on?” he asks. “We’ve become so damn distant and I have no idea why. It feels like you’re trying to push me away. Have I done something wrong?”

“No,” I reply, looking at the ground. “You haven’t done anything wrong.”

“So what is it then?” he asks impatiently. “You’ve been so...so different lately. I didn’t confront you earlier because I figured that you would tell me eventually but you didn’t. It’s like you’ve been trying to forget that I exist. Is that it? Are you trying to let go of me? Do you want us to break-up? What did I do, Jamie? Did I hurt you? Did I say something that upset you?”