Teardrops and Butterflies
Chapter 15
Preston’s POV
“We need to talk,” she whispered, causing my insides to spin with nerves, knowing exactly what she wanted to talk about.
“Yeah,” I replied, unable to form a proper sentence
I let go of her and sat down next to her on the bed, taking her hand in mine and squeezing it gently.
“I’m not killing our baby,” she stated, loud and clear, her mind made up.
“I can’t lose you Katie, I won’t survive without you,” I replied, fighting back the tears.
“Of course you will, and our baby will need you. It’ll be tough but you’ll be fine. You’re strong and you’ve got so much love to share,” she said, smiling at me with love and sadness in her eyes.
“I can’t do it without you, I wouldn’t know what do to and… I don’t want to do it without you,” I choked as the tears that I’ve been holding in finally escaped my eyes.
“I know, but you’ll be fine. I believe in you,” she whispered as she pushed herself up and wrapped her arms around me.
The next couple of months flew by and the fact that I was probably going to lose Katie haunted me every second of every day. The baby was growing perfectly and was healthy but she was slowly deteriorating.
Kr. Kremer wanted to keep Katie in the hospital to observe her but she didn’t want to so a few days after making it very clear to him that there was no way she was going for chemo or radiation , he released her into my care. I was torn between the decisions. I wanted her to get the best possible care, meaning that she would have to say in the hospital but I also wanted her at home with me where I knew she would be happy. At the end it was her choice and of course she chose to come home.
I still wanted to marry her even though I knew there was a very big chance of her not surviving the pregnancy. I wanted to make her mine completely and I knew it would make her happy too. We didn’t do the whole church and inviting friend’s thing again, instead we organized with the priest to marry us at the butterfly park where I asked her to marry me. It was just us and him in the big butterfly enclosure but it was still the best day of my life, well one of them. The others were when I first met Katie. The day she admitted that she loves me, the day she said yes to marry me and of course the day we found out that she is pregnant.
Her being pregnant did also cause the situation we are in right now but I can’t be angry at the baby for existing and I can’t be angry at Katie for wanting to keep it, even if it means sacrificing her own life.
Our wedding day was perfect. It was everything I could have ever hoped for and more. I love Katie and no matter what happens I will always love her and cherish the time we get to spend together.
When we were done saying our vows and the priest announced us husband and wife we spent some time at the butterfly park, just enjoying being together. Later that day I took her to the diner in town where we went when I took her to the hospital the first time and we had some pancakes.
“This is the best day ever, she said as she ate her pancakes and then laughed when the baby kicked for the first time.
I could see the happiness in her eyes and I couldn’t help but be happy too but I was also sad. Sad and angry that a person as good as her and with so much love had to suffer like this. Sad that I wasn’t going to be able to spend the rest of my life making her happy and sad that she won’t be able to see her baby grow up. But for that day I pushed all the sadness away and concentrated on making her happy and loving her to the fullest.
Our wedding day is one of the days I love to remember, we were happy but now I only see pain and heartache as Katie lies in her hospital bed, biting back moans of pain. Dr. Kremer didn’t want to do the cesarean section until he absolutely had to, but from what I could tell it was going to be soon and the thought scared the crap out of me. Katie is only seven and a half months pregnant but she is so weak that she can barely do anything. She just lies in her bed but somehow she still manages to smile.
