Have you ever seen the Rain? (FBI Series Book 2)

Chapter 12

Chapter 12

Billie walked into the hotel room and stood there numb. Justin placed his hand on her shoulder, shrugging she walked away from his touch. “I’m fine.” Billie said and wanted to be true more than anything.

“Ok.” Justin knew the best thing would be to give her some space alone to cool down. “I’m going to check in with the others.” At her nod he left the room.

Once he was gone Billie sat on the bed and sighed, looking at hands when she felt them shaking. She was so angry. They, she and Amanda, had always found a way to disagree but never had she left feeling so hurt and furious. Billie knew her mother hated her choices but she didn’t know she was that upset over the past. Except thinking about it, her anger made sense, the past was unresolved. It wasn’t the end, one of these days they were going to have to put their tempters aside and talk it out. “Not today.” She whispered, lying back on the bed.

A soft knock interrupted her thoughts moments later. “Justin I’m fine you can go.” she sat back up when the door opened. “Dillon.” He was possibly the last person and the first person she wanted to see after the blow up with Amanda.  “What are you doing here?”

“I heard you went to see your mom.” Dillon answered as he sat on the empty chair.

“Don’t tell me she called you.” It wouldn’t be the first time Amanda took matters into her own hands and went to Dillon.

“She didn’t, Justin did.”

Billie hadn’t expected that. “Really?”

“He’s worried about you. He thinks I could be better help.” Dillon said, not quite believing it himself.

“Why? Because you’re part of the problem?”

“I am?”

Billie shrugged. “Why not? She blames me you know, for everything that happened. She’s upset I hurt you.” she followed the emotion and looked into his eyes. “I guess she doesn’t know how much you hurt me.”

Dillon shifted uncomfortably in his chair. “Why don’t you tell her?” he didn’t know what to say, he wanted to help but she was right, he was part of the problem. Dillon didn’t like to think of the fact he did hurt her, he believed at the time he was doing the right thing.

“It wouldn’t help and I wouldn’t wish my mother’s fury on you. We always fight I’m used to it and soon she’ll move past this and find something else to be pissed about.” Billie knew for that to happen she’d have to visit more and she wasn’t sure if she could. “He worries too much, I’m fine, you don’t have to be here.”

“I didn’t come because it was the right thing to do. I want to be here.”

Billie was surprised by his words, what they made her feel bothered her. She hadn’t been the only one running from whatever it was between them, she had been so sure she was over Dillon when she boarded that plane. Now she wasn’t sure about anything. “Why?”

“Just because we couldn’t work it out doesn’t mean I stopped caring about you.” Dillon knew if he continued being quiet nothing would be resolved. He had known her all his life; he knew he’d die loving Billie Savich. He saw the confusion in her blue eyes and felt the same. “Today didn’t go well with Amanda but you shouldn’t give up and if you need someone to rant to I’m here.”

Billie smiled slightly, yes he was always there. He had made a choice she couldn’t live with on top of the pain she was dealing with so she lashed out and ran all those years ago. She had always stuck by her choice but like everything else she wasn’t sure anymore. “Do you think if I would’ve stayed or come back we would’ve worked things out?” Billie hated asking and at the same time she needed to know.

Dillon didn’t hesitate. “Yes.”

Billie didn’t try to fight it anymore and let the tears just fall. “I’m back now.”

“Because of Joey, not because you want to be.” It had pained him to say those raw honest words. He had dreamt so many nights of her return until one night he accepted she was gone and no longer his.  Billie nodded, he was right. “Do you want to work it out?” Dillon had to ask, the way she said that she was back and the look of pain and need in her tearful eyes pulled at every inch of his heart. Only Billie could piss me off and in the same second make him fall head over heels for her.

“I didn’t mean that.”

“Then what did you mean?”

“I meant---” Billie sighed, “Nothing it was a question, just a question.”

“Then why’d you ask it?” Dillon knew she was hiding again, trying to cover her tracks and avoid.

Billie felt like he was interrogating her and in some ways he was, it was ticking her off to the point she stopped thinking and answered. “Because I wanted to know.”

“Know what?” Dillon pushed, wanting his own answers.

“If you still loved me, if you still wanted to work it out and move on from the past and the ways we hurt each other.”

“Do you?” Dillon felt his heart jump into his throat.

Billie met his eyes again, so many memories flooding her mind. She never wanted to be that vulnerable again. “No.”