Pros and cons of dating an older guy

Chapter 23: Pro #11

Pro #11 - Having a mature person in the relationship

Have you ever been in a relationship with someone around your age and when you got into arguments the pride would get in the way? And sometimes that pride would mean the end of the relationship?

I haven't really dated much, to be honest I had one boyfriend before Jared but it ended because neither of us wanted to reach out to the other person. I didn't love him, especially now when I compare my feelings for him to my feelings for Jared. I dated him because everyone had a boyfriend and everyone had been kissed before. I could have easily texted him and everything would have been resolved. But I kept thinking to myself 'why can't he text first'  'I don't want to be the first one to text' 'I don't want to be the weak one in the relationship'...Thinking about it now, those were unnecessary and childish thoughts. But for some reason, I find myself doing the exact same thing with Jared.

When I think of giving our relationship a try I think 'it's not even a real relationship' 'he basically told me not to fall in love with him' 'have you seen Veronica?' 'He's never even told me he likes me' 'He was only with me because of the ba..'

"Kate" Jared said, disturbing my thoughts. We were sitting in the lounge. I didn't know what to say. I wasn't ready for this conversation.

"I'm sorry" he said.

"About?" I asked.

"Everything. Everything's my fault"

"No Jared..."

"This isn't the time to be stubborn Kate" He reached for my hands, they were trembling.

I looked at his face then. I'd never seen Jared look sad. I'd seen him happy, angry and everything in between but I'd never seen him sad. His lips were parched and his eyes were glistening with unshed tears. My heart started beating, looking at him made me wanna cry.

I reached out for his hands without thinking and for a moment I thought he'd pull back but he didn't. He was shaking too.

"I'm angry Kate. I'm angry and disappointed in myself. It's my fault. I'm responsible for everything that happened today"

"No you're not, I wasn't eating right and taking my vitamins. I was neglecting my health and that's why I lost my baby..."

"Our baby. It's our baby Kate. He was going to be my son. I was already picturing having a little me around the apartment. I wanted this baby Kate. Seeing your belly grow everyday made me excited. It made me happy"

I had no idea.

"I caused you stress and made you fall ill. I'm sorry Kate. I can never forgive myself. When I saw you laying on the bathroom floor and the blood and everything I..." He wasn't looking at me anymore. He was staring hard at the ground.

I didn't know what to say to Jared. I didn't know how to make him feel better. I didn't want Jared to be sad and to feel guilty.

"I'm so ashamed of myself..." He said quietly when I didn't say anything.

"It's not your fault Jared"

He gripped my hands tighter and finally looked at me,

"I know a lot of things are going on in your head right now but I want us to handle it together. I want us to take it one step at a time and not make any decisions while our emotions are all over the place" Jared said.

What was he asking?

"I want us to be there for each other and I don't want you to go through this alone" He continued.

I just nodded.

"How are you feeling?" He asked.

"I don't know..." and that was the truth. I didn't know what I was feeling. I felt an overwhelming load of emotion in my chest but at the same time I also felt numb. I was frustrated. I think that's what the feeling is.

"I don't want you feeling guilt about our baby" Jared said.

It was just then when he said our baby that the tears started falling. I was trying so hard not to think about everything but I failed. The tears wouldn't stop and I had a stabbing pain in my gut. Jared pulled me into his arms and held me tightly.

At this moment I was glad I wasn't alone. You know those times you're alone in your room, on your bed crying your heart out and you don't know how to make it better? This made it better. Not being alone made it better. Being hugged made it better. Jared made it better.

I calmed down a little bit and just stayed in Jared's arms.

"Let's go lie down in the bedroom and eat ice cream" Jared said, standing up and taking my hand.

At this point I didn't want to think about anything else. I didn't want to burst this little bubble of whatever little comfort we had formed.

***

Hey ya'll :)

I got so much feedback on the previous chapter and I just wanna say thank you to everyone who takes their time to comment, vote and send me messages. It encourages me and makes me wanna write better.

QUESTION: What do you guys think might be the pros and cons of dating an older guy/girl? ;)

As always, thanks for reading,

Val xx