The Riveting Lives of Russell and Sal

Chapter 12

Sal locked the bathroom door, and changed. The thought of Russell in his underwear sent chills down his spine, but not in a pleasant way. Odd. Shouldn't he want to see that? Didn't he love Russell? Sal tried to imagine Russell in his bedroom right now, in a state of undress. He really didn't want to think about it. So he thought of cuddling Russell, fully-clothed. A swooping sensation filled his stomach. Yes, he loved Russell very much. When he had clothes on. Didn't people prefer to see their crushes with their clothes off? There went his plan to win Russell over. This episode probably pushed him away for good.

Once certain Russell would be finished changing, Sal carried his dirty clothes to his room, and tossed them in the laundry hamper in his closet. Thankfully Russell had finished changing, and was laying on the bed. Sal flopped down next to him, close enough for their shoulders to brush against each other. Russell scooted away so they no longer touched, and chewed his thumbnail, eyes focused on the ceiling.

"Why do you always chew your thumbnail?" Sal asked.

"It calms me down," Russell said.

"You're not calm?"

"I'm never calm."

"You always seem calm." Sal ever so carefully placed the side of his hand against Russell's.

Russell jerked his hand away. "That's because I chew my thumbnail."

Yep, he definitely pushed him away for good. Sal chewed his thumbnail. "I guess it kind of works."

Russell rested his hands behind his head. "What do you have to be nervous about?"

Sal pulled his thumb away from his mouth, setting it on his stomach. "Nothing much. Just... things."

Russell nodded. "Things make me nervous too."

"Like what?"

"School, my future, disappointing my parents... screwing up friendships. That sort of thing."

"It's okay. I'm good at screwing up friendships too." Sal glanced over at Russell. His eyes were still on the ceiling, expression unreadable. "I'm sorry about my reaction to... you know. It just took me by surprise."

Russell smiled. "I'm sorry for taking you by surprise."

Sal smiled back, and casually moved his arm towards Russell. This time, he didn't move away. "You shouldn't worry about disappointing your parents. You're a teenager. It's what we do best."

Russell let out a half-hearted chuckle. "Yeah, you would think."

The two fell silent. Sal pulled down his covers, and crawled under. Russell did the same, moving his body closer to Sal. Sal tensed for a second, then relaxed. He rested his trembling hand on Russell's, expecting him to move it. But instead, Russell wrapped his fingers around it, holding it.

Sal's heart pounded, and struggled to draw breath.

"I get a lot of pressure from them," Russell said. "I've always tried my hardest to please them, but they only notice my screw-ups. Sometimes I wonder why I bother."

"Why?" Sal's voice wavered.

"I don't like getting my things taken away, for starts."

"Not that. Why are you holding my hand?"

Russell turned his head to look at Sal. "Do you not want me to hold it?"

Sal bit his lip to keep from smiling, and he stared up at the ceiling. "I don't care either way."

Russell released his hand, and Sal no longer had to keep from smiling. Why couldn't he have admitted to liking his hand being held? Now Russell would never hold it again.