Feel Alive(Adopted By Mikey Way)

9~Mikey

Shallan, I have discovered, is a very strange girl. She's very quiet when she's with a group of people, but when she's with me she's like a completely different person. Her smiles are more real now. They still don't quite reach her eyes, but they're not as forced as they were. I haven't managed to get a laugh from her yet, but I will. Right now we're getting ready to preform. Shallan sits on the couch in the dressing room holding my bass. She strums it gently. She's been practicing a lot and she's gotten better. She can play all the way through Give 'em Hell Kid now without making any mistakes. Frank is staring into space, Gee is smoking, Ray isn't here right now and Bob is twirling his drumsticks between his fingers. The door opens and Ray pops his head in.

"We're on." he says and leaves. We all stand and file out. I take my bass from Shallan and walk on stage. We play our first three songs and then Gee looks back at me. I nod. He smirks and turns back to the crowd.

"So we have a little surprise tonight. We are going to have someone else play bass for the next song." I go to the side of the stage where Shallan is and grab her hand. Her eyes widen.

"N-no. I can't."

"Yes you can. Come on." she gives in and lets me pull her on stage.

"Ladies and gentlemen I am proud to introduce Shallan Way." Gee yells. Shallan blushes and tries to hide behind me. I hand her my bass. She takes it and puts the strap over her head. I help her fix the strap, since I'm taller than her. She grips the neck of the bass so hard her knuckles turn white.

"Relax. You can do this." I whisper in her ear.

"I don't think I can." she replies. She looks like she might throw up.

"Yes you can. You've practiced a lot and you know this song probably better than I do."

"That's not true. Mikey what if I mess up?"

"Then you mess up. We all mess up. It's part of life."

"Oh god. Oh god. Oh god." She mutters, looking down. She takes a deep breath and then looks to the righ. I follow her gaze and see Patrick standing there. Shallan takes another deep breaths and looks at me. She's got a defiant gleam in her eyes. She turns and smiles at me.

"I can do this." she says, confidently. I smile.

"There you go." I give her a side hug and walk to the side of a stage. They play through the song and Shallan doesn't make a single mistake. She's almost smiling and she looks the happiest I've seen her since I adopted her. The guys, minus Bob, give Shallan hugs and she comes over next to me.

"That was...exhilarating." she tells me. She wraps her arms around me.

"Thanks for the confidence boost." she whispers before resuming her position by the stage. I take my bass and walk back to the my spot on the stage.

+after the show+

We're all back on the bus. Bob, Ray and Frank are sleeping, Gee is drawing and Shallan and I are sitting on the couch. She's writing and I'm reading. Well kind of. I'm having trouble focusing.

"Mikey?" Shallan asks.

"Yeah?"

"Read this and tell me if you think it's any good." She hands me the notebook.

You hated your eye color

Called it a dull and dirty brown

Wished for the deep blue of an ocean

Where admirers hearts would drown

And it pained me when I realized

You'd never see it like I do

The way your eyes hint at a story

That I want to read right through

They hold specks of stolen sunlight

That you'd miss with just one glance

And a depth of raw emotion

That can freeze you in a trance

They're a fix of melted chocolate

When I'm craving something sweet

But hold a gaze that's so unwavering

That I find it hard to meet

I fall right down the rabbit hole

When I look into your eyes

The brown of earth's unfettered beauty

That I yearn to memorise

When I was tired of not belonging

They made me feel like I'd been found

And I hope you never say again

That your eyes are simply brown

-S. C. W

I look up at Shallan. She's smiling softly and looking at the couch.

"Do you like it?" she asks, speaking quietly.

"Yeah. You know you have a real talent for poetry."

"Thanks."

"Shallan what's your middle name?" I ask out of curiosity.

"Clarity. Mom told me that I gave her a clear understanding of beauty. Because Shallan means attractive and clarity means to make something clear. What's your middle name?"

"James. Kind of boring."

"It's just normal." I go to hand back the notebook. She shakes her head.

"Turn the page." she whispers. I flip the page.

The Mirror is written at the top.

Never trust a mirror

For a mirror always lies

It makes you think that all you're worth

Can be seen from the outside

Never trust a mirror

It only shows you what's skin deep

You can't see your eyelids flutter

When you're drifting off to sleep

It doesn't show you what the world can see

When you're only being you

Or how your eyes light up

When you're loving what you do

It doesn't capture when your smiling

Where no-one else can see

And your reflection cannot tell you

Everything you mean to me

Never trust a mirror

For it only shows your skin

And if you think that it dictates you worth

It's time to look within

-S. C. W

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Hey. Thanks so much for the votes and comments. It's so hot here. I'm positive I'm melting. Anyway. Tell me you thoughts on this chapter. Please and danke.

Savannah:-)