Jariel knew that he was becoming too soft. Too emotionally attached to Dawn. That’s what happened when someone is stuck on this realm for too long. They become too attached, grow too close to someone and that’s when it happens. That’s when they begin to lose a part of themselves. They begin to forget who they really are and turn their back on their true home. Jariel refused to be like that though. He wouldn’t forget who he was or where he had came from. So he did what he thought was best, he began to stop caring. He stopped caring about people in general. If they were hurt, it wasn’t his problem. Why should he care what happened to these scum? He built a wall around himself and refused to let Dawn, or anyone else, in. He told himself that he was doing this for the right reason, so that when he left he wouldn’t care, when the truth was that he was afraid. Deathly, and completely, afraid of what would happen if he did become too attached. Would he want to leave this realm in the end? Would he be able to? What would he feel if he did become attached, but left anyways? These questions swarmed in his head and he tried to make sense of them, but couldn’t, no matter how hard he tried. He just thought that the solution to these questions would be to not become attached in the first place. Shield himself from the world so that the would couldn’t hurt him anymore. The only problem was that even when someone shields themselves from the world, the world still finds a way to hurt them, or someone else. In reality, in was a lose-lose situation, and Jariel was in the middle of it. It was Jariel against the world and no matter how hard he tried, or how badly he wanted it, the world would win again in the end. It was just a matter of time, really.
He had no doubt that Dawn could sense this change in him. Dawn had a bad habit of asking him if everything was okay. He usually just shrugged it off, walked out of the room, or downright ignored her. She’d take the hint soon enough. He had to admit though; he was feeling a bit guilty about treating her so cold. She would look at him with the saddest expression on her face, as though she knew how he was feeling. Be it as they may though, he really didn’t have a choice. He didn’t want to, he refused to, become too attached.
Dawn, despite Jariel’s rudeness, was still doing her best to find him a job. He couldn’t understand why. He turned down every single one that she shoved in his face, and on top of it he was being a jerk. If he was her, he would just stop trying. He was secretly hoping that she would stop trying, and soon.
“You are going to have to suck it up and get a job that you may not like!” Dawn said, letting out an aggravated sigh and crossing her arms in front of her chest. “That’s why they call it a job, not a career!”
“Ever think that I may not want a job?” he asked, as though he was talking to a small, stupid, child. This made Dawn’s face heat up in anger.
“Want it or not you are going to get a job or end up back on the streets!” she yelled at him. “Annette is gone, and I doubt she’s coming back any time soon, and I don’t make enough money to pay the rent by myself so you’re going to have to help out. This isn’t some cheap ass place where you can live here for free.”
“You are the one who took me in, in the first place. Remember? You didn’t have to, so I don’t see why I have to get a job and help out.” He stated, rolling his eyes.
“I may have taken you in, but you were the one who accepted.” She said, her voice getting louder. “And when I took you in, I wasn’t taking you in so you could lie around the apartment being lazy. You have to help out, it’s only fair.”
“Well guess what, life isn’t fair!” Jariel said, raising his voice.
“You are either going to help out, or get out. End of story. Finite. Done. Goodbye.” With that she stormed out of the room, out of the apartment for that matter, leaving Jariel, still furious at the events, staring after her.
He rolled his eyes and stormed in to the living room, turning the television and not caring that the news was on. He watched it anyway, he was too annoyed. She just didn’t get it. Of course she didn’t though; she didn’t know who he was. What he was. He wished he could show her, to make it easier for her to understand, but it was forbidden. If he did that he may not be able to return and get the revenge that he so desperately desired. He thought that if she accidentally stumbled in on him though, when he had his wings exposed, then that may be a different story, but he wasn’t prepared to risk it.
He didn’t know what Dawn was doing, and he really didn’t care right now. She would see, sooner or later, that he was right. At least, he kept telling himself that. He thought that if he kept telling himself that, it would make it true.
* * * *
Dawn couldn’t understand it. No matter how hard she tried, she just couldn’t wrap her mind around it. Jariel had been so distant these past couple of days, and she couldn’t figure out why. Of course she had asked him over and over again if everything was okay, but each time he would either ignore her, walk out of the room, or snap at her that it was really none of her business. All she wanted was to help him, to be there for him, and he shut her down. Maybe it was her, she thought. Maybe there was something wrong with her, but if it was her, she had no idea why. She wished she knew, she really did. She couldn’t help it, she was becoming a tiny bit attached to him. The way he smiled, laughed, rolled his eyes, everything about him drove her crazy. It was just a stupid crush, she told herself. It was much more than that really, though she would never admit it, to herself or to anyone else. She should have known better. Getting attached to someone, particularly a stranger that could leave at any moment, would bring her nothing but heartache. She already knew what that felt like. Losing someone you loved. She didn’t want to ever experience that feeling again. She didn’t want to drown in her own sorrow, or feel as though she would never see the light of day ever again. It hurt too much. That feeling, the feeling of becoming attached to someone and then losing them, was just too much to put up with.
Then Jariel had the audacity to tell her that he refused to get a job. As if she was some servant! The nerve. She didn’t want to have to throw him out after letting him in, but she really didn’t have a choice. Especially if Annette wasn’t going to come back. How else was she going to pay the rent? She wished Annette would return her calls and just talk to her, like the civilized adults that she thought they were. She missed her best friend and she needed her right now. She took out her cell phone and tried again, but got the voice mail once again. Figures. She was going to continue giving Dawn the silent treatment. Naturally.
“Annette, its Dawn. Please call me, I really need you right now. I’m sorry for not talking to you about it. I’m sorry for everything, but please call me Annette. I honestly don’t know what to do right now. I need my best friend to help me.” She said, leaving Annette a voice mail and then turned her phone off and put it back in her pocket. She didn’t have any fancy, expensive type of phone. There was no way she could afford it. Instead, she had a plain old track phone. It wasn’t the best, but it got the job done. She continued to walk down the sidewalk and to the local park, where she sat down and did her best to calm down. She would have to figure out what to do with Jariel. Maybe she could just go out and fill out an application in Jariel’s name, and he would have to accept it, like it or not. That may make him furious, but she didn’t know what else to do. She didn’t know how to make him see how hard it was, living in an apartment and making minimum wage at a job she couldn’t stand. That’s when it hit her. She got up off the bench and made her way to Joe’s diner, where she was going to talk to Joe about getting Jariel a job. She smiled to herself. She knew that Jariel was going to be downright furious, but at the moment she didn’t care. He was getting a job, and he was going to help out, even if it killed him. If he didn’t like it, he could go back out on the street, and she doubt he would like that alternative either.
Dawn just couldn’t see how a man who had been homeless for God only knew how long wouldn’t want to get a job and get money in his pocket. She couldn’t see how he wouldn’t want to start over. Then again, though, Jariel didn’t seem like an ordinary man.
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Change of Heart (NaNoWriMo 2011)
Random**In The Editing Process!!** Jariel, a once favored angel in Heaven, has been thrown out. Not by his own accord, however. He was tricked, made a fool of, by an angel named Elise, bent on being the center of attention no matter what. Jariel is now s...
