Sorry For the Sin

Chapter sixteen

Planning to update Thursday/ Friday and Monday/Tuesday to keep it regular :) Think we may be somewhere near the end of the story I haven't decided yet.

Please tell me what you think - I am aware I have written some people slightly differently to the show in order to make the story fit slightly better -R

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Patsy walked with pride back to her room,- it was a strange type of pride she felt broken yet strangely free.  she was shaking but it now felt natural to her, fear in her body now wasn't a surprise or a shock to anyone. She lived in fear, she always had but this fear was different. She had been caught and her punishment had been given but she wasn't worried about her but Delia. If Delia wasn't allowed to stay here then Patsy knew her mum would make her go back to Wales. Patsy knew that she had fought so hard to Delia's presents she couldn't lose it, she couldn't get it sent all the way back to Wales. She couldn't face this alone. She was resisting all the feelings flowing throughout her body, she didn't want to admit how powerless she really was. She walked slowly down the corridor to her bedroom, she thought she was strong until her Trixie holding Delia who was trying to shake off her tears, trying to act okay, Trixie held up a smile when she saw Patsy but Delia couldn't even look up from the ground.

"She slapped Cynthia" Trixie said trying not to laugh- she had never been very good with serious situations and laughing was the only way she could avoid the drink. Patsy could cry over that, she bit her lip in an attempt not to laugh as she walked over to comfort her clearly very distressed girlfriend.

"Well I got fired, so it could be worse" Patsy said trying and failing to make light of the situation.     "You got what cariad?" Delia looked up for the first time since.

"I am packing my stuff and I will be gone by Monday" Patsy replied. If she didn't already feel so broken then she knew this would have broke her , but she knew the truth. She knew she wasn't wanted here and wasn't allowed to be a midwife in poplar - the truth was she was fired as soon as they took away her right to be a midwife.

"Oh Pats" Delia said, going over to patsy ad holding her in her welsh arms. Delia knew if there was a god she would be going to hell and with that thought in her mind, she kissed Patsy tears ran down both their faces and through the light of the open door it was magical. A smile stuck across Trixie face as she saw a small glimpse of happiness in Patsy's face.

"I'll leave you too it" Trixie said scooting past them and shutting the door behind her.

Patsy had mastered the fake smile, right down to the wrinkles around her eyes. No one ever questioned her expect one person, expect from her Delia. She saw in her eyes, and she saw her feelings but all she could do now was hold Patsy close while they could still be together and pretend that the world wasn't against them.

Trixie faced the downstairs with gritted teeth, it was as tense as she had imagined but she wiped on her fake smile that she had learnt from her roommate and sat down at the table with the nuns. Sister Mary Cynthia's face still looked red but no one mentioned anything at all, small talk was hard to maintain and no one asked where Patsy and Delia were, people either didn't care, didn't want to know or in most the unaware cases of the nuns just assumed they had eaten out.

"I have an announcement" Sister Julienne said, breaking the uncomfortable silence and glances that went on around the table.

"Nurse Mount will unfortunately be leaving us, as of Monday" Her voice sounded more caring than it had done when she was talking to Patsy.

Trixie's head swirled with comments and opinions but she decided that it was best to keep them to herself, her heart hung heavy with regret for not speaking up and standing up for her best friend but she didn't know what else she could do – or say.

"I have already requested a replacement" She continued. Trixie couldn't stay at the table any longer.

"If you don't mind – I need to get ready for my keep fit" She stood up fast and turned away before letting the tears flow down her face, she couldn't let the others see how very much she cared for her friend. Patsy had been by Trixie's side for everything and now she was losing her due to who she loved. Due to Sister Mary Cynthia. She couldn't help but place all the blame on her – she needed someone to place blame on and what Sister Mary Cynthia did was the final thing that the mother house needed to send Patsy away. She couldn't lose her best friend. No one spoke as Trixie left the table, she didn't even have keep fit tonight but she knew she couldn't sit there any longer.